December 31, 2003

Peace and Joy in 2004

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December 27, 2003

Sleepless in Cleveland

This is going to get me in trouble. I know it is --it always does. Every year, whether it be during the short spring break or the long summer months, I find my circadian rhythms being severely disrupted. With no early morning deadlines and no commitments before noon, I start going to bed later and waking up later. I've been on break for a week and a half now, and my biological clock is getting ridiculous. It's after 4 in the morning, and I'm not sleepy at all. But I will be come noon tomorrow... er, I mean today.

A couple days ago I started setting my alarm clock for 8 am in an attempt to curb my rhythm shift. The problem is that I don't feel the need to actually get my rear end out of bed unless I have to, and all of the work I'm now doing doesn't require me to be conscious in the morning. I can read articles, shop for grad schools, and make web sites any time of the day. Problem is, I know when my vacation is up that I'll be screwed. I'll wake up so tired on my first day of work that only God could keep me from rear-ending somebody during the 35 minute drive.

Don't get me wrong, I love vacations. But it's my job that keeps me on the path of regular sleep. Without it... I'm up writing on this darn website at 4 in the morning. Make that 4:20. Good grief.

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December 24, 2003

A Christmas Story

Thank you Steph (you old roomie of mine) for sending this beautiful story to me, entitled The Christmas Envelope: It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband, Mike, hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma -- the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else. Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration can in an unusual way.

Our son, Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them."

Mike loved kids, all kids, and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed an envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years.

For each Christmas, I followed the tradition -- one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost like last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

- Anonymous

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December 22, 2003

Some newness was in order

If you've visited my web site before, it may be wise to refresh your screen. The new layout is up, just in time for the holidays. Actually, I didn't change this around for Christmas... even though I tinkered with the design of the last layout, some visitors were still having problems with long upload times. The dial-ups were okay, but the DSL & networks were the troublemakers. It defies explanation.

Right now it's 2:30 in the morning, and for whatever reason, I can't sleep. I think I'm worries about all of the shopping I have yet to do. There are 18 people on my shopping list, and only one is crossed off. My grandma is getting a new George Foreman grill (hey, she wanted it) but I'm at a loss trying to find gifts for the other 15.

My head is starting to throb. That can't be good. I might take a couple Alleve (a.k.a. crack in a bottle) and read a little. I'm working on a book called The Moral Animal, which has been sitting neglected on my nightstand for about a month now. But I know I should also get my rest... it's a big shopping day tomorrow. Seriously, Jewish people have the right idea --focus on the significance of the holiday, and leave the glitzy hoopla to the idiots.

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December 20, 2003

A JonathanBrandis.org update

The last few weeks have been very encouraging for me as the webmaster of Jonathanbrandis.org. I've been given the chance to connect with people from all over the world who have expressed to me their sadness over the events of Novemeber 12th. Many of them have contributed pictures, stories, poems, and best wishes as I put together the new website due to launch on the first of January.

There are a few things, though, that I would like to specifically seek out in the form of contributions or help in collecting the material myself. I would like for the new site to have screen captures from Jon's television and movie appearances, but this is proving difficult since many of the tv shows and movies are not available right now. These are the productions I'm most interested in finding at the moment:

A Fate Totally Worse Than Death (2000) - playing Drew

Mark Summer's Magical Mystery Tour (1999) - playing Jonathan

Her Last Chance (1997) - playing Preston

Two Came Back (1997) - playing Jason

Born Free A New Adventure (1996) - playing Randal Everett Thompson

Our Shining Moment (1991) - playing Michael 'Scooter' McGuire

Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story (1987) - playing Lance Reventlow

"Saved by the Bell: The College Years" (1993) playing "Himself"
in episode: "A Thanksgiving Story" (episode # 1.10) 23 November 1993

"Pros and Cons" (1991) in episode: "Once a kid" (episode # 1.8) 14 November 1991

"Blossom" (1991) playing "Stevie" in episode:
"To Tell the Truth" (episode # 2.6) 21 October 1991

"Wonder Years, The" (1988) playing "Steve"
in episode: "The Yearbook" (episode # 4.19) 10 April 1991

"Gabriel's Fire" (1990) playing "Matthew Fixx"
in episode: "Truth and Consequences" (episode # 1.15) 31 January 1991

"Flash, The" (1990) playing "Terry Cohan"
in episode: "Child's Play" (episode # 1.6) 15 November 1990

"Alien Nation" (1989) playing "Andron"
in episode: "The Touch" (episode # 1.20) 30 April 1990

"Murder, She Wrote" (1984) playing "Kevin Bryce"
in episode: "If the Shoe Fits" (episode # 6.13) 21 January 1990

"Who's the Boss?" (1984) playing "Paul"
in episode: "Your Grandmother's a Bimbo" (episode # 5.11) 29 January 1989

"Full House" (1987/I) playing "Michael"
in episode: "A Little Romance" (episode # 2.11) 13 January 1989

"L.A. Law" (1986) playing "Kevin Talbot"
in episode: "Cannon of Ethics" (episode # 2.3) 29 October 1987

"L.A. Law" (1986) playing "Kevin Talbot"
in episode: "The Wizard of Odds" (episode # 2.2) 22 October 1987

"Sledge Hammer!" (1986) playing "Young Sledge"
in episode: "They Shoot Hammers, Don't They?" (episode # 1.4) 17 October 1986

If you have any of these performances recorded, please consider sending some screen captures here. Everyone who contributes to the website will be fully credited for everything published. Thanks guys, and Merry Christmas!

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December 19, 2003

Questions on my mind tonight

This week I officially started my break from the lab, and already I'm finding myself missing my beautiful babies, my rats. There are 70+ little buggers I left behind to be cared for by someone who hired me to do the job myself... It was nice of him to give me a few weeks off, but honestly, I like my job. I really do (well, everything that doesn't involve training 15 people one a time to edit data and use the lab equipment).

This new abundance of free time has thrown me off my routine, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I've been reading a lot, grad school (not Christmas) shopping, and designing a couple web sites. It feels strange to be working at home at 1:30 pm on a weekday. My vacation has also given me some time to do a little pondering, and these random questions have been bouncing around my noggin lately:

Why the heck did all of my bonsais drop foliage and go naked? Did I offend them in some way? Bonsais, I watered you, bought you a grow light, gave you some moss... why must you treat me this way?

I'm no longer disgusted by the thought of a rodent peeing on me (since it's now happened several dozen times). Is that bad?

Christian people have justified the war in Iraq by pointing out just wars in the Old Testament. But what I want to know is, would Jesus Christ have dropped bombs on the people of Iraq? Are we not to strive for the good rather than the not sinful?

Why can I not remember what I was doing a year ago this time? Was it really that forgettable? (Yeah, probably).

Is there anyone out there who is truly free of all psychological disorder? Don't we all fall somewhere between the poles on that graded scale of pathology? Is anyone really normal, or aren't we all at least a wee bit nutty? (I mean, except for me, of course).

Why does Fat Bastard keep eating my sweaters?

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December 15, 2003

The news CNN forgot to report on

John 16:33 - I have said this to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Something I'd like to add (an e-mail forward I actually liked): It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there�d always be more.

But then my Mother died, and on that clear, hot afternoon, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute". Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away...never to return before we can say goodbye, say, "I love you".

So... while we have it... it's best we love it... and care for it... and fix it when it's broken... and heal it when it's sick. This is true... for marriage... and old cars... and children with bad report cards... and dogs with bad hips... and aging parents... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it. Life is important. The people you love, keep them close!

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December 13, 2003

Small changes, big projects

I've made some minor adjustments to the html code so that the pages load a little more quickly. I hope this helps out anyone with particularly slow browsers (and, for whatever reason, school networks).

The design for Jonathanbrandis.org is done. Now all I have to do is sift through the pictures, poems, and stories people sent in to me. The new site will definitely not be lacking in content, but I'm still collecting more.

Lately, though, I've been thinking about some other things. I have projects here and deadlines there, but what has most been on my mind is...

Christmas.

Yeah, the Christmas holiday... the one time each year when joy and good will reign supreme. Or, at least they're supposed to. So I've been thinking about Christmas lately. But not about shopping. I haven't done any of that yet, but I know it will get done in time. I don't care about presents. My house is also not decorated and I don't have a tree, but I don't really care much about that either. I haven't been baking, and I haven't been fussing. My worry this year isn't so much about the details as it is lacking the Christmas spirit, or whatever the heck you call it. I just don't feel very Christmas-y right now.

I think I watch CNN too much. That may be my problem. News of Iraqi children getting blown up sucks the joyous holiday cheer out of me. I vowed this year that I would spend the season doing good and making change. Right now, though, I'm not sure how. And so far I've done precious little but read research articles and design web sites.

What to do?

And where the heck is that magic 8 ball of mine?

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December 07, 2003

A little comic diversion

Tonight the lab crew went out on the town and saw a little comic improv. The tiny venue was tucked inside a smoky warehouse basement, but it packed quite a few laughs. It was fun... it was what I needed. Between news of Iraqi children being blown to bits and former child stars taking their own lives, it's been a depressing few weeks. A little silliness can be therapeutic. Thanks, Cabaret Dada.

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December 01, 2003

Some more thanks, really

I want to thank everyone who has so far contributed content to JonathanBrandis.org. I've gotten some great photos, drawings, memories, and articles. In the next week I'll begin fleshing out the design for the site, but I'm still in the content collection process. I've been scanning in my own material, but I'd still like fans to add to the site as well. If anyone is willing to share anything related to Jon including magazine covers, Seaquest memorabilia, video clips, screen shots, prayers, interviews, movie and television episode transcripts, songs, poems, artwork, letters, scanned autographs, photos, links, etc. you can e-mail me here (remove the NOSPAM when replying). Everyone will get credit for their contributions. Thanks guys.

One thing I'd like for the site's visitors to know is what Jon meant to all of us. So tell me, what did Jon mean to you? (Also let me know if you would like me to post your comments anonymously, or with your name and e-mail).

Remember to keep Jon's family in your thoughts and prayers.

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