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Monday December 15, 2003

The news CNN forgot to report on

John 16:33 - I have said this to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Something I'd like to add (an e-mail forward I actually liked): It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there�d always be more.

But then my Mother died, and on that clear, hot afternoon, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute". Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away...never to return before we can say goodbye, say, "I love you".

So... while we have it... it's best we love it... and care for it... and fix it when it's broken... and heal it when it's sick. This is true... for marriage... and old cars... and children with bad report cards... and dogs with bad hips... and aging parents... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it. Life is important. The people you love, keep them close!


You hit the nail right on the head.but, sometimes we cant fix what is broken because we dont know its broken,IF only someone had taken JONATHAN seriuosly maybe he could have been saved.And sometimes love is not enough.

Lori on December 17, 2003 01:37 PM

OH yeah, Sorry about your mother too.

Lori on December 17, 2003 01:40 PM

It is true, what you say. And I am also sorry to hear that you have lost your mother. I will pray for her. It is sad that we only seem to realize how much a person meant to you when they are gone.

Gisele on December 17, 2003 01:47 PM

Those are well chosen words Drina, and also of course I share Lori and Gisele's sorrow about your Mother.

And Lori I agree fully with your view about Jonathan.If I had been fortunate enough to count him or to have him count me as a personal friend,then that would have been something that I would have wanted to continue for a great many years.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 17, 2003 06:25 PM

" " or italics would have been good... i think your post would have been understood better.


michelle on December 17, 2003 09:02 PM

Hey guys,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother, those words are very true and very touching. It's crazy that we human beings take so much for granted everyday and we dont even realize that we do it. In a thousand years is it all going to still be here????? Anywayz, still having a tough time dealing with Jon's death and death itself, life, everything, it all has this meaning to it but I dont get it and at the same time I do....I guess I just over analyze all the time. I never stop thinking about everything...
Well, here is a poem I wrote for Jonathan:


Caught up in strife
You took your own life
Something changed within you
There was nothing we could do
No one knew until it was too late
We never wanted this to be your fate
As tears of sadness slide down my face
I can't believe you are in a different place
An innocence has been lost
It came at a terrible cost
Your smile always warm and bright
Upon us from above you still shed your light
Watching over the precious ones you love
You are now as free as a dove
May you always be at peace
And your legend never cease....


Lauren Long on December 17, 2003 09:05 PM

Point taken Michelle.


John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 18, 2003 02:14 PM

What a lovely sentiment...thanks for the Christmas reminder :)

Stacey on December 18, 2003 03:20 PM

Hi Lauren,

I agree with you, we take so much for granted, especially life itself. I, too, am still saddened by Jon's death, but it's been so wonderful being able to talk to people like you, who understand that feeling. Keep your head up!

Drina on December 18, 2003 10:06 PM

I'm SO sorry about your Mother, Drina! People here on your website are so wonderful and comforting, I love reading everyone's posts! And Lauren, your poem is SO beautiful!!

Hey, E! cable channel is having their "Year in Review" show on Sunday, Dec 21, 10 pm (east coast time, USA). Sure hope they have Jon on there!

Judy on December 19, 2003 05:57 AM

Hi Judy.

We get the E!channel over here now as well so I will be looking out for that show on Sunday thanks for tipping me off.The t-shirts have arrived,black Fruit of the Loom Screen Stars shirts with the website in black letters on a white background.On one it's all across the chest and on another it's a smaller logo at the side of the chest.They look pretty good to me.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 19, 2003 02:33 PM

Hey everyone,

"People" mag (Dec 29 issue) has 2 letters on their "Mail Bag" page about their article on Jon. One of them mentions a "mood-disordered brain." (I think he means bi-polar / manic-depressive disorder?) I don't think anyone's mentioned if Jon had that or not, and of course it doesn't mean he did, but it's nice that "People" printed the article, in case there are people out there with the disorder, IMHO.

Also, I got a letter from a Producer of the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards! It's still if-y as to whether or not they'll show Jon on their award show, but I'm impressed that anyone responded at all, much less responded within a week of receiving my letter. My letter said what a wonderful actor Jon was and if they could please consider him to be included in the part of the award show where they show the actors/actresses who've died in the past year. Here's the response: "We will be happy to place Jonathan Brandis' name on our list of other actors that have passed away this year, to be considered for our Memoriam package. Due to the fact that so many wonderful actors have passed this year, there can be no guarantee at this time. Thank you."

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed, hoping they'll include him.

Hey John, those t-shirts sound outta this world -- wonder how many of Jon's fans who haven't heard about what happened will get curious from seeing your t-shirts and check out the website?!

And the UK gets E! -- that's so wonderful! I love E! Would love them even more if they'd have Jon on there!! :)

Judy on December 19, 2003 08:26 PM

Hi Judy

You can be sure of one thing, that no matter what the Screen Actors Guild does or does not do, Jonathan will be represented at our next Cult TV Weekend In Memoriam for the actors and actresses we have lost during the last 12 months.

I will make sure of that.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 20, 2003 03:02 AM


Wow -- a Cult TV Weekend! That sounds like tons o' fun!! Do you help organize it John? Will it be in the UK? A few years ago I went to a Star Trek convention -- it was an absolute blast!! Loved it!!

Judy on December 20, 2003 11:43 AM

Hi Judy

Yes I do help organise this event.It's really a holiday weekend, and we have done them in different locations around the UK since 1994. I have attended all but one of them since that year and have been one of the organising crew since 2001.

We actually celebrate all programmes which we think come under the heading of Cult TV, and that means Jonathan ,with two years as Lucas on Seaquest DSV has often been seen there in the past( on screen that is) and will definitely be remembered this year.

As far as the Screen Actors Guoild is concerned, I don't see any reason why they should leave Jonathan or any other actor out. All these people have fans who want to see their favourites respected and remembered by their peers in the industry. Do let us know what happens won't you?

Thanks a lot.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 20, 2003 12:37 PM

Hi everyone,

Yup, see no reason why Jon and others should be left out from the SAG awards. If anyone would like to contact SAG and ask them to remember Jon on their award show, or any other reason of course, their contact info is at:

Must be *so* exciting to be part of the organizing crew John. I'm sure it's a lot of hard work (or hard play :)). *So* glad you're there to make sure Jon gets such well deserved kudos (spelling?). I'm sure if Jon had you to confide in, John, he'd still be alive today. Kudos to you John!!

Judy on December 21, 2003 03:17 AM

Thanks for those nice words Judy.I am sure a lot of other people feel that way as well.

Whatever it would have taken is what would have been done .

Starting work on the article today.I am not rushing it because I want to get it just right but I hope to have it done soon.

All the best.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 21, 2003 04:25 AM

Very cool John!!

Oceans of luck with the article!

Judy on December 21, 2003 07:36 PM

Thank you John, Ithink ALL of us fans wish WE could have known JONATHAN, maybe one of us could have helped him.His life was Not a waste like some other actors who have been on drugs and booze almost all thier careers.He found a way to keep his feet planted on the ground , Until he for some reason couldnt hold on any longer.AS a victim of a nervous breakdown in 93, i can somewhat understand how he was feeling, but i just wish JONATHAN had seeked professional help and not the bottle! antidepressants and a shrink help me, why didnt JON seek that help too? THAT we will Never know.

Lori on December 25, 2003 07:19 AM

Hello Lori and thank you for your kind words, it was very nice to read them. I was sorry to read about your problems and hope that you are well past them now.

I do not think that we will ever know exactly why Jonathan did what he did ?I have tried pretty much to ignore all the speculation because all I think that does is add to the confusion.Only one person knows for sure why Jonathan did what he did and that of course is the man himself.

To be honest, the biggest help and the most cathartic experience I have had in trying to deal with this situation has been using this message board and talking to people like yourself, sharing my own thoughts and feelings.Communication is very therapeutic, and the internet can be a wonderful medium for things like this I think!

The article I was referring to in my other post is not started yet though I have until January 1 to finish it so still plenty of time.I have just viewed "The Year That Trembled" for the third time, and visited the website for the movie and that article is now several steps closer.

I have to be careful with it though because I want to get it absolutely right.I had set off from an angle of wanting to say many good things about Jonathan and those I will say because he is absolutely beyond belief in this movie so good is his performance in my book.It's small wonder that this wonderful movie won so many awards.But I have to be fair and say that there is a very fine cast around him, most of them with extensive TV experience-which is really my area of expertise-including Meredith Monroe, Fred Willard, Jay R.Ferguson and Henry Gibson and the cast altogether is absolutely excellent.

If you have not seen this movie I highly recommend it!
I am hoping that my piece will also be going on Drina's website when it is ready , I will definitely be submitting it for inclusion.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas Day and enjoy the rest of the holidays.

John H

John Hutchinson on December 25, 2003 06:50 PM