March 29, 2004

Hey Britney

I am not what you call a Britney Spears fan. I don't own any of her cd's, and fail to pay attention to the pop diva gossip gauntlet that details her every move. I just don't care. Sure, I downloaded Toxic on Kazaa a few weeks ago. Who didn't? It's just so damn infectious... I couldn't help myself. But aside from this one guilty pleasure (whose sweet dance groove and dangerously flirtatious lyrics I'm sure she wasn't responsible for) I just don't care for her music or her live show. Especially her live show.

When I go to a concert, I want to hear real live music. Not a recording; not someone singing over a recording... why pay $50 to watch a two-hour lip sync session when I can buy the cd for $15 at Target and hear the same sounds for years? Okay, a little choreography is worth some change, but come on... at least sing at your own concert.

Whatever. Britney's rich, beautiful, and very famous. She can do whatever she wants, including mouthing the words she should be singing at Gund arena this Thursday. I just don't want to be around for it, let alone drop my (or anyone else's for that matter) hard-earned cash for her Milli Vanilli act. So imagine how I must feel like finding out that I'm going to this concert (and I use that term lightly) this week. I'm scheduled to do a little child care for some friends of my family the day of the show. The three kids I'm sitting are big Britney fans, and the parents are paying me to haul them downtown. Lucky me.

So, on Thursday I'll be one of the thousand average Janes watching Britney from the Gund's cheap seats, probably feeling as though I've sold my soul for some petty babysitting cash. Not only will I be there, but I'll be sharing the experience with three kids who'll be singing her tunes in the car all the way home. Do me a little favor, please, and say a prayer for me tonight. I'm going to need it if you want to hear from me again on Friday (and thereafter). Thank you, loving public.

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March 27, 2004

Pampered Chef

Sarah just had a pampered chef party.

Pricy kitchen gadgets... why do I want them? I can't cook.

I found out I like fondue, though.

Maybe I'll get a fondue pot.

Or not... I probably won't use it.

Cooking is just not for me. I'm kitchen stupid.

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March 19, 2004

Advertisers go away

Lately I've noticed that some of my comment pages are getting filled with advertisements for shady internet "pharmacies" hawking crap like propecia and viagara. Sometimes, these ads come in bunches, filling up my comment threads like I just wrote something uber-controversial. This is exactly why I started paying for server space... because I was fed up with ads plastered all over free servers' websites. Guerilla advertizing sucks. The junkmail, comments spam, and pop-ups are sucking away everything good about the web... all to make a dollar. Go away, and start doing something with your life more important than spamming a personal website.

Sheesh.

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March 14, 2004

An answer

Whenever I have major conflict raging in my head, I'm usually left hunting for resolution months, sometimes years, before I get any peace of mind. Some major ones are still raging, having been started in my days as a plaid skirt-wearing schoolgirl. I can now say with absolute confidence, though, that I've just experienced the shortest intra-Drina war of my life, and I've gotten the answer I was looking for only days after I first posed the question.

I was wondering whether I should stick with life in the lab in spite of the call to another direction. I've been doing some research in animal learning (more poop cleaning than researching, but I can still call myself a scientific investigator) and my time there has been an awesome learning experience. Before I joined up, though, my career goals didn't involve experimenting on rats, and I wasn't sure if I should stick with it or bail.

Today I participated in a rat perfusion. If you don't know what that is, count yourself blessed. It's a gruesome act that involved stopping a beating heart and retrieving a brain. And I was fascinated. I got to see the body in action... without feelings of disgust. I wasn't squeamish; blood and guts don't gross me out. But watching an animal I've cared for since day one get it's life sucked out of it also gave me an unsettling feeling that hasn't gone away. And I don't think it ever will.

Animal research is a necessary evil. Without it, the suffering experienced by people would be many times more than that of research animals. That makes it necessary. But in such research, the animals do not give up their lives (as scientists like to say) for the sake of science. Rather, their lives are taken, and the stress of solitary confinement, shock, and surgery is inflicted on them involuntarily. That makes it evil. And being a necessary evil, it has to be performed by people who can look past the evil and focus on the necessity.

For this reason, I've finally figured out that my life's work will focus on psychological research that will someday really help people... I just won't be using animals to do it. I don't regret the experience I've had, but I've tried on the lab coat and the damn thing is just too tight on me. It was made to fit someone else, and I'm happy to move on my way. I've got some important work to do.

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March 11, 2004

The future... ?

When I started the psych program at Baldwin-Wallace, my intention was to graduate, hit up a doctoral grad program, then spend my life trying to find ways to get people to stop hating each other... Jews and Muslims, Catholics and Protestants, Americans and Middle Easterners... that was my goal in life. At some point on this road, I started doing research in animal learning and worked at the campus lab for a while. Now I'm taking another year before grad school to figure all this out, and honestly, I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. Do I forget about my stint as a rat researcher and focus on my longtime goal, or go with the flow and check out some animal behavior programs? Seriously, I don't know.

This sucks.

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March 06, 2004

2004 Cleveland Auto Show

Last night I went to the auto show with my bro, cous, and bro's friend. The show was great (four awesomely beautiful Beetles!) and I took some shots with the new digicam. Observe:

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March 02, 2004

Voting day

I'm a hypocrite. I know I am... Today was voting day in Ohio, and although I've been waggin my finger at all of my friends to get out to the polls, I haven't done so myself. It's not that I didn't have the time... I really did. The polling place is a mile from my house, and it would have been a short little trip. But instead of excersizing my rights, I stayed at home and debated with myself. Her's my dilemma:

There are certain things I feel very strongly about. I feel strongly about the war in Iraq... that it was waged with ulterior motives and fundamentally wrong. I also believe the United States should be ashamed of itself for not taking care of its citizens. Even the homeless are given health care in Canada. I feel strongly about a lot of things, and there's a candidate whose philosophy is nearly identical to mine. The only problem is he had a snowball's chance in hell of winning anything at all, considering the front runner was hundreds of delegates ahead of him before today.

Is it better to vote with your heart, or with your head? Support the ideal person, or the strongest person? The one you want, or the one that will win? I'm still debating this now, hours after the polls have closed. I haven't done my duty. I couldn't even mke up my mind. I know... hypocrite. I'm not afraid to say it. Hmmpph.

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