Welcome to
« Some thanks. | Main | A little comic diversion »

Monday December 01, 2003

Some more thanks, really

I want to thank everyone who has so far contributed content to I've gotten some great photos, drawings, memories, and articles. In the next week I'll begin fleshing out the design for the site, but I'm still in the content collection process. I've been scanning in my own material, but I'd still like fans to add to the site as well. If anyone is willing to share anything related to Jon including magazine covers, Seaquest memorabilia, video clips, screen shots, prayers, interviews, movie and television episode transcripts, songs, poems, artwork, letters, scanned autographs, photos, links, etc. you can e-mail me here (remove the NOSPAM when replying). Everyone will get credit for their contributions. Thanks guys.

One thing I'd like for the site's visitors to know is what Jon meant to all of us. So tell me, what did Jon mean to you? (Also let me know if you would like me to post your comments anonymously, or with your name and e-mail).

Remember to keep Jon's family in your thoughts and prayers.


Hi Drina

You are doing a great job in keeping Jonathan's memory alive.I have a great feeling that this site will be a wonderful commemoration and celebration of Jonathan and his life and I hope that one day even his parents might look at it an approve.As far as contributions are concerned I know you have got mine and there will be more to come.And I am happy for my name and e-mail address to be attached to each and every one of them.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 2, 2003 01:31 AM

Hey Drina,
I really don't have anything to send in, but I wouldn't mind contributing financially and maybe helping you out with the site work itself. I'll admit I've never tried to put a website together before, but I just got my first programming job in VB. If you think you could use my help at all let me know. Thanks for doing this. I really appreciate it - you rock!!!

KC form the Bahamas on December 2, 2003 09:33 AM

Hey, guys...
I posted something before, but I guess it didnt show up or something. Anyways, this is just a short note, until I have more time to put down my feelings regarding our precious Jonathan. The song that makes me think of him is called "I'll Be There" by The Escape Club, its an old 90's song, but its good....
"Dont be afraid, oh my love, I'll be watching you from above. And I'd give all the world tonight to be with you, cuz I'm on your side and I still care, I may have died but I've gone nowhere, just think of me and I'll be there." I bawl my eyes out and just stare at his beautiful face everytime I hear it...I still cant believe hes gone...I pray for Mary and Greg, they've got to be in so much pain, I cant imagine...innocence has been lost forever, but he will always be with us in spirit and his death has taught me to appreciate everything I have and everyday I get to live. Be happy that we had a chance to have him in our lives....this is one of the hardest things I think I will ever have to deal with in my life....May he Rest In Peace.....We love you Jonathan Gregory Brandis and always will.

Lauren Long on December 2, 2003 05:26 PM

Hey guys,
I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate this site and am glad there are so many out there who feel the way I do... I miss our precious Jonathan so much, it hurts...I still cant fathom the fact that he is gone...My heart goes out to Mary and Greg who must be in so much pain, I cant imagine....but I am grateful that we had a chance to have him in our lives, he brought us all so much excitement and hope...His death has also made me very thankful for each and everyday of my life.....We love you Jonathan Gregory Brandis and always will...May you Rest In Peace....

Lauren Long on December 2, 2003 05:35 PM

WOW, what can I say but WOW. It is December 1st, 2003 and I have just found out about what happened to Jonathan Brandis. I was told of the rumors and didn't believe the stories. I have finally searched on and confirmed all that I was told. WOW and WHY!!!
I believe that I am one of his biggest fans. As far back as I could remember I have tracked this talented persons life. From his start in One Life to Life, The Never Ending Story Part II, Sidekicks, Ladybugs, Good King Wencelsauls, and to his two seasons as Lucus on SeaQuest I have seen it all. When he was in his teen idol phases I used to have my bedroom door plastered with his picture, along with my 12 month calender. I was so mesmerized by his talent and love for life that I wanted to know more about him.
Once SeaQuest aired I knew that I was hooked for life. Along with a SeaQuest t-shirt and pin, I have all of the shows trading cards organized in a special display binder. I also have the Lucus action figure along with the model of the Seaquest ship that I put together. My most prized possesion is my near complete collection of the two seasons of the SeaQuest television show on tape. For the longest time I looked for the series in stores and I couldn't find it. So I taped close to every show on the SciFi channel.
I am very stunned, a sad about what has happened to this very inspirational actor. I want to extend my deepest sympathy and prayers to all of his family and friends. It is so hard to think of the right words to say at a time like this, so I want to leave you with this thought...Jonathan is now in a better place with his true father and is patiently waiting for the time when all of his loved ones can be with him. I am sure that he would not want us to dwell on the bad in all of this, but remember him in his life and all of the joy that I know he brought into this world. My thoughts are with you all.
Good bless.

Mary Moore on December 3, 2003 12:31 AM

What you're doing is beautiful. I, too, have been shocked and uplifted by the amount of support of strangers through all of this. It is remarkable how people will come together when something like this happens --and a beauty in a devastating tragedy. If you need anything at all for the new site, I know you're probably getting offers all over the place and here's another, I'd love to help in some way. I'll try and find something to contribute soon. I think what you're doing is a blessing to his spirit and memory. Jonathan was a beautiful person in a lot of ways and he will be remembered by his fans as long as they hold breath --and through people like you long, long, after. *hugs* Thank you. I'm glad someone is putting this together. It is what needs so very much to be done.

Cheal on December 3, 2003 10:56 PM

I'm still in shock, I just found out two days ago, I don't remember any news on TV that Jon was dead. I think his passing away was definitely too early, I just wish there was someone who could really understand him. Who could read between the lines. He didn't deserve to go like this. I hope he will be respectfully remembered. His life was that of a butterfly, so beautiful and so short. He was phisically beautiful, but ther was sth in his eyes, something so unfathomable, his choice. I wish I had known him in person. Prayers go out for his peace and of his family. You are in a better place, Jonathan. We'll miss you.

aga on December 4, 2003 10:29 AM

Hi everybody,

First I just want to say that this site has been an amazing source of relief and insight for me since I heard about Jon's passing. Just like most of you, I was completely shocked and very sad to hear the news. Although this site has been the most imformative by far, I've still been searching to find all kinds of stuff about Jon and I found a board that wants to make Dec. 9th Jonathan Brandis Fan Support Day. This is the day that his latest movie will be coming out. I wish Jon could know how many people really loved him aside from his family and friends.

Here's the link, and God Bless you guys!

Michelle on December 4, 2003 12:25 PM

I would just like to echo the sentiments some of the more recent posters have just added.

I have also drawn a great deal of comfort from the support of the people on here.

The news of Jonathan's passing completely devastaed me when I got it-more than a week after it happened-and I still cannot get it out of my head.I cannot fathom what happened,I don't know-and probably never will know-why it happened,I am just trying very hard to come to terms with the fact that it did.

It's a little difficult to explain to people over here how I feel though.It isn't the first time I have felt this way.I felt just the same devastation when Freddie Prinze(Chico)died in the 70's, when Ricky Nelson died in the 80's and when River Phoenix died in the 90's.

I put it down to the fact that I am a TV fan first and foremost,but with tastes that run way outside the average soap opera,reality show or makeover programme that seem to fill the screen so much these days, and yet happily take in people like Jonathan and shows like Seaquest.

Jonathan Brandis was a delightful and always welcome presence on my TV screen for many years and now that he is no longer with us, all I want to do is whatever I can to keep his memory alive all over the world.

And a website and a message board like this is the best way I can think of doing it right now.

If I have learned nothing else out of this tragedy, I have at least learned that the internet can bring good people together in times of sorrow,and this is certainly one of those times and yet the people I am meeting up with on the boards are very good.

Jonathan Brandis, to me, was a very good actor and I am sure a very good human being.We should remember him with the respect and affection that he deserves.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 4, 2003 03:05 PM

Hey everyone,

You all really are the best!! Your posts and this website are helping me cope so much!! It'd be so lonely to go through this if you all weren't here!!

Um, more magazine sightings:

"In Touch" weekly (Dec 15) has a few sentences and one of Jon's great pics.

"US" weekly (Dec 15) only has 2 sentences (Jon deserves SOOOOOOO much more!!!).

"Globe" (December 9) has a pic (doesn't look too much like Jon) and a short article.

"Globe" (December 16), has 2 pics (one doesn't look like Jon again) and a short article on him.

No new info in the mags, except one of the Globes says Jon, "...suffered anoxic encephalopathy -- deprivation of oxygen to the brain."

Gosh, such a cold, medical, technical term for someone with such deep emotions as Jon had (um, correction: HAS).

Gosh, you all are so wonderful with expressing how everyone feels. Two days ago I went into denial -- it just didn't feel real that Jon is gone. But, am back to reality again, so am still having bouts of crying.

Do you think it would help if we write the mags (like "People"), and BEG them, er, I mean ASK THEM :)) to do more on Jon? Maybe even write "E!" and "A and E"cable channels to ask about doing some shows about Jon on "E! True Hollywood Story" and "Biography"?

Maybe even write the folks for the Oscars, Golden Globes, and SAG awards, and ask to include Jon in their tributes at their award shows? You know when they show the actors/actresses who've died in the past year? (OMG, it's so hard to write this.)

Michelle, thanks for the link about Dec 9. (Though on Dec 11 and 12, think I'm gonna need a tear duct overhaul kit -- probably gonna lose my mind on those days).

And Lauren, "I'll be There" sounds so beautiful -- thanks for telling us about that song.

And thanks again to everyone -- Jon sure has the most wonderful fans and friends!!!

Judy on December 4, 2003 09:18 PM

Does anyone have a copy of Globe that they are willing to scan and upload somewhere?

Drina on December 4, 2003 10:23 PM

Hi Drina,

Sorry I don't have a way to scan the Globe articles. Hopefully, someone here will be able to help you. It'd be so great to have the articles on your webpage.

Judy on December 5, 2003 06:59 PM

Hey guys That will tell you the story

Joey Colomba on December 7, 2003 02:56 AM

Thanks for posting that article Joey.

It certainly tells a story,and there may be something in it.

One thing I am sure of in my own mind,and that's that Paul Peterson and Wil Wheaton are both absolutely right in what they are quoted as saying.

The sadness regarding this situation just does not seem to go away and at Christmas I am feeling it particularly strongly.

John Hutchinson, Leeds. West Yorkshire, United Kingdom

John Hutchinson on December 7, 2003 11:55 AM

In reply to Mary Moores message of December 3.

Mary I agree with every word you say.Jonathan is in a better place now.It is hard not to dwell on the bad in the situation but at least we can take comfort from the fact that there was certainly no an ounce of bad in him and we should remember him that way.

John Hutchinson,Leeds,West Yorkshire,United Kingdom.

John Hutchinson on December 7, 2003 03:15 PM

Just to clarify my view on the article,it does make some salient points on the problems relating to child actors but I personally believe what the coroner said originally about alcohol and drugs not being contributing factors.

I don't want to get into any kind of speculation on this though as I do not think it serves any purpose and I am sure there will be quite enough of it going on elsewhere,

I refuse to believe also that Jonathan was over the hill at 27.He had all his best work infront of him in my view.Yet as far as the media is concerned,by this age,he was past it.

And that really annoys me.We all are aware of how little mainstream media coverage Jonathan's tragic death received.In this country(UK)we can apparently make TV stars out of antiques dealers and chefs and if anything happened to any of them it would be all over the place but when it comes to a classy actor like Jonathan what do we get?Nothing,

I could take the moral high ground here and say again that I wouldn't besmirch the wonderful memory of Jonathan by including him in that sort of press but some coverage would have been better and more respectful than the none we got.

I go back to my earlier points.Jonathan was a fine young actor and a fine young person.Those of us on this MB who are obviously true and dedicated fans really should try and commemorate him in the best and most positive way that we can(and supporting Drina and her forthcoming website is one very good way of doing that)and generally ensuring that the memory of this wonderful young man is not allowed to fade.

John Hutchinson, Kippax near Leeds,West Yorkshire,United Kingdom

John Hutchinson on December 7, 2003 07:09 PM

Hi Drina, John, Joey and everyone.

Joey, thanks so much for the link. I agree with you John -- I don't think Jon was over the hill at 27. Hey, in the theater they're always looking for all age ranges (though am not sure if Jon wanted to get into theater plays).

A recent article mentioned that Jon was in a pilot tv show which the tv execs (boo, hiss :)) changed the title of the show and changed all the actors/actresses involved. Sheesh, to think we were SO close to drooling, er, I mean, *seeing* Jon every week again. :::sigh:::

With the lack of media coverage of Jon's death -- does anyone wonder if it could be because the big holidays are coming up and the media people (double boo, double hiss :)) think that talking about suicide on a holiday (which Jon did -- it was Veterans Day), might drive more people over the top and contribute to more suicides? I don't know. Um, maybe you all have discussed this already. Sorry if I've duplicated the issue. Guess, all we *do* know is Jon's been given the royal shaft by the media.

You know, maybe we could change that. If magazines get a *bunch* of letters from Jon's fans, maybe they'd do some more articles on Jon and the way he died? In fact, I've got a few magazine and award show addresses / emails / fax numbers.

In the case of award show addresses, maybe we could ask them to include Jon in their "who's passed away this year" segments. They might already have Jon lined up for that, but from the way the media is treating this, thought a bunch of letters might make sure that they include him?

I'll be glad to type the info for addresses, etc., if anyone's interested (and if Drina doesn't mind another long post from moi)?

Judy on December 9, 2003 11:52 PM

Thanks for your comments Judy much appreciated.

Just incase anyone else in the UK is reading this-or indeed anywhere else in Europe if you can get the relevant channel by satellite or cable-ITV1 in the UK is showing Jonathan's movie "Outside Providence" at 11.30p.m. UK time next Tuesday.

John Hutchinson,Kippax, near Leeds, West Yorkshire.

John Hutchinson on December 10, 2003 08:25 AM

I was so devastated when I learned that Jon passed. I had the biggest crush on him as a teenager. I am still dealing with various emotions about the situation. I am angry that his so-called friends ignored his heavy drinking and his comments about possibly taking his life. I am just as angry at the media for virtually ignoring his suicide. What does that say to regular everyday people who may be contemplating suicide? I'll tell you what it says: "This guy was famous and his death was barely mentioned. If no one cared about him, then surely no one cares about me". The media sucks for not taking this opportunity to speak out about suicide. We could all learn an extremely important, literally life or death lesson from this. That suicide does not end suffering, it just starts it. It is not the answer and we need to never brush off a person's comments about suicide, even if we think they might be joking. You just can't ignore that kind of thing! I am extremely sad for his parents and am praying for them. I had a t-shirt made in memory of Jon (I just felt I had to do something) and it says: Jonathan Brandis 1976-2003 "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die".

Jon will be forever missed, and nothing will ever be quite the same...

Brooke on December 10, 2003 11:40 AM

Hi John -- that'll be so cool next Tuesday to see "Outside Providence" -- Jon is *so* great in that, even though it was such a small part. Heard that he was in *a lot* more scenes which where cut :( oh well -- at least he's still there for all of us to see!

And Brooke, the T-shirt sounds wonderful!! Absolutely LOVE the saying "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die." That's *so* beautiful!! And it describes Jon *so* well!! And I know what you mean about being angry at his friends, but I really can't imagine that they'd ignore him like that. I keep wondering if it's just "the press" that's saying that. Or maybe they just thought he was joking. Or maybe they really didn't know. One rule of suicide if you *really* want to do it, don't tell anyone (or else they'll try to stop you). I really can't imagine Jon's friends ignoring him like that, especially when they know how hard his profession is. And sometimes when an incredibly talented artist is crumbling, no one can reach them. :(

Um, and speaking of the media, I finally got a bunch of letters mailed, but my measely little letters probably won't count for much. I'll bet if *a lot* of Jon's fans write, then maybe the magazines and tv execs will make articles and shows about him.

And ::::shiver:::: today's the one month anniversary folks: Dec 11 (I know he died on Nov 12, but he hung himself on Nov 11). This day's gonna be a hard one.

You know when you're *just* waking up and sometimes you're kinda in between waking and sleeping? Well, since Jon's death I've had a few times where it feels like Jon's talking at those *in between* times. (I'd expect to feel horror stuff, but instead it feels really, really beautiful). Like this morning it happened again and I swore I could've heard him say, "I didn't mean to cause so much pain. I just had to get out of my own pain." And then beautiful crystal clear music and lyrics started, to the song "Somewhere" which goes:

"Someday --

Somewhere --

We'll find a new way of living.

We'll find a way of forgiving.

Somewhere --

There's a place for us.

Somewhere a place for us.

Peace and quiet and open air.

Wait for us somewhere.

There's a time for us.

Someday there'll be a time for us.

Time together with time to spare.

Time to learn.

Time to care."


Well, the song goes on, but this post is long enough, eh? :) But I was just beyond amazed when it happened, because I felt like if anything remotely "supernatural" ever happened, it would be filled with horror stuff, you know? But this stuff feels *so* real and *so* beautiful, I just can't describe it. Maybe I'm just cracking up, or maybe it's just part of a *normal* grieving process. But it really feels *so* real.

Gosh, sorry about rambling so much. Drina, I'd like to thank you again for letting us write on *cool* your website and giving all of us a way of communicating with each other. And am still *so* excited about your!!

Take care everyone!

Judy on December 11, 2003 06:15 AM

Hi Brooke and Judy.Brooke, the t-shirt slogan sounds great, well done on coming up with one so appropriate for Jonathan.

Judy are you in the UK or Europe?I just got a region 1 DVD of "Outside Providence" this morning and I am looking forward to watching it tonight or tomorrow.If my experience with Jonathan's film "Falling Into Darkness"(or is it "Falling Into Trouble" I am always forgetting!)
on DVD is anything to go by there are many differences between the TV version I have on VHS and the DVD version.

I will be in touch again later.

John Hutchinson, Kippax, near Leeds, West Yorkshire,United Kingdom

John Hutchinson on December 11, 2003 10:28 AM

While we are thinking of songs that remind us of Jonathan here is my best effort to date,with due apologies to Messrs Lennon and McCartney

"Why Jon had to go

I don't know

He didn't say

Now there's something wrong

And I long

For yesterday"

Says it all really.

John Hutchinson from Kippax near Leeds,West Yorkshire,United Kingdom

John Hutchinson on December 11, 2003 03:03 PM

And for another emotional song which I think is appropriate to the situation with Jonathan,what about the old standard "I'll See You In My Dreams"?

I heard it on the radio the other day sung by one of our all time great performers Joe Brown from the CD of the Concert For George.I also heard it sung live by Joe a few weeks ago,infact just a couple of days I think after Jonathan had left us but of course I didn't know it then.Each time it brought tears to my eyes,and when I heard it on the radio ,whilst I was on the bus on the way to work,it also brought up pictures of Jonathan in my mind.

I am absolutely unashamed to say that I went in to work with tears in my eyes on that day.

John Hutchinson, Kippax,near Leeds, West yorkshire,United Kingdom.

John Hutchinson on December 11, 2003 04:43 PM

Hey you guys. I wanted to share a poem I wrote about Jonathan. I hope it doesn't upset anyone - it is sad - but poetry is my way of dealing with things like this. I wrote this with not only my perspective in mind, but other fans as well. Just feelings and questions that I'm sure we are all dealing with.

"In Memoriam"

Did you wonder what we'd think?
Did you wonder if we'd care?
As you took your last drink
One last sip of air

Which light was turned off last?
Which chip was the final to fall?
That made you snuff the candle fast
In that morbid, desperate hall

Where did the time go?
Perhaps with all the smiles
That only live now though
In the mourning hearts across the miles

There would be a flood
If hearts could weep
Tears of blood
Too many to keep

What were you thinking
On that day?
Where have you gone?
I know where I pray.

The choice you made will resonate
Throughout the rest of our days
Painting over our childhoods
With a sad shade of grey

But the love we feel is stronger
Than any color can stain
And the good memories we'll hold longer
For in our hearts you'll remain

So farewell, I hope the rest of your journey was a good one
And if you made it to a place where a big feast is being prepared
Save a few seats - we'll be there....

Brooke on December 11, 2003 04:52 PM

Nice one Brooke.It sums up many of my feelings just perfectly.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 11, 2003 05:03 PM

Hi everyone,

John, I'm so happy for you that you've got the DVD of "Outside Providence"!! Um, I'm actually in the USA, near Washington, DC. I don't have a DVD player yet, too many bills to pay right now. :::sheepish grin::: The songs you mention are *so* beautiful and remind me of Jon so much! They sure bring tears to my eyes too!! And I know what you mean about having tears in your eyes when you go to work. I've done the same so many times. People have noticed my face, but haven't said anything -- that's fine with me, don't think I'd tell them why anyway -- I'd probably break down even harder.

And Brooke, your beautiful poem -- wow -- you're *so* creative!! Thanks so much for posting that!!

Wish I could stay and ramble on :) but gotta go to work. Jon, wherever you are, I hope you're having tons of fun -- 'cause you deserve it!!!

Judy on December 12, 2003 06:38 AM

Hi Judy

I am sure that Jonathan is having a ball wherever he is and like you say he deserves that happiness.

I watched and enjoyed "Outside Providence"last night(it took me a little while to convince the DVD player that it CAN play region 1 DVD's and eventually it agreed it the thing ran perfectly)and I have a rather earlier film of Jonathan's "The Wrong Guys" to watch later.

The DVD of "The Year That Trembled"is on its way to me and I have an article to start about Jonathan this weekend for publication in a magazine in January which I will finish after I have seen that film.

And I feel priviliged to be allowed to do all that.It's not work,because it's in memory of Jonathan so it's an honour.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 12, 2003 01:25 PM

Hi everyone,

Sorry it took a while to answer John -- this weekend was hard to get through (being the one month mark). The pain Jon must've been in for so long to actually go through with it. To take that last split second where he could've stopped and not done it. Well, next month anniversary will be easier, I think. I hope.

But sorry John that I couldn't answer sooner. I'm SO happy for you that your DVD player listened to you :) and was convinced that it could play region 1's!! WOO-HOO!!! Have you received TYTT yet? I haven't seen that or "The Wrong Guys" yet. And that's SO COOL that you're doing an article on Jon for publication!! WOO-HOO!! That's SO wonderful that you're able to do that!! Will it be a magazine that we can get, or a local / regional magazine?

Take care everyone!

Judy on December 16, 2003 06:34 AM

Hi Judy

Nice to hear from you again.

I am with you all the way on what you say.Poor Jonathan must have been in a tremendous amount of anguish to do what he did,and it is such a crying shame that things ended this way for him.I spent part of this weekend watching "Fall into Darkness" again and he is utterly mesmerising in that.I find it so difficult watching those DVDs and coming to terms with the fact that Jonathan is no longer with us.

And if it is difficult for me,then I can only wonder at how difficult it must be for his Mum and Dad and his friends,especially whoever it was who actually found him.That must be such a traumatic experience that he/she will be scarred for life with.

As far as The Year That Trembled is concerned I am afraid it has not arrived yet.I have been assured that it is on its way to me so all being well I should get it sometime later this week.I have been checking out the website at and all I can say is that the film sounds great(and so it should with people like Martin Mull,Meredith Monroe,Henry Gibson and Danica McKellar in the cast)and the star,Jonathan,looks in great shape.So I am preparing myself for a great movie,a commanding performance from Jonathan and then more puzzlement as I try to figure out the whys and wherefores of what happened afterwards.

Maybe there just is no figuring it out I don't know.

As far as the magazine is concerned,it is a magazine about Vermont film makers .Jay Craven who directed TYTT is from Vermont and has already given the writer an inteview and apparently had some "very tender "words to say about Jonathan.
My brief as it were is to write an overview of Jonathan's career,culminating in my review of TYTT and to do it from the heart,

That's not hard for me to do I can tell you.I do all my writing from the heart as you can probably tell.

I don't know how far the magazine is going to be distributed but the writer came to Drina's website because he saw what was going on there amongst the fans and I think basically knew that he had found people who would be able and willing to help out.Then it came in my direction and I am honoured to be able to do something like this in Jonathan's memory.My greatest wish is that he was still with us to see it.But realistically I would settle for his family seeing it and realising what it means,that Jonathan was a person who cared,who counted,who meant a great deal to people and was loved by more people than he could ever have known.

I daresay that if there is sufficient interest in the magazine then some arrangement may be made to distribute them a little further but that really is not for me to say.

One thing I have been told though is that I will retain copyright to the article so it will be going on Drina's website as well in due course,I hope.

Talking of that I am in the process of having some sample t-shirts printed with the website on them and I will see what they turn out like at the end of the week.I have told Drina about this.I am really excited about the website.I don't have any clue what the exact content is going to be other than what I have sent(if that's included)but I know it is going to be a memorial to Jonathan that we can all take great pride and pleasure in.I have been spreading the word locally as well and I think that more than a few people I know will be paying the site a visit after January 1.

Sorry to go on so long Judy but it was nice to hear from you again.You are right in that the one month milestone was a difficult one for us all to overcome,but let's all hope that it gets easier from here on in and that our dear friend Jonathan is up there somewhere free of whatever pain he was suffering and having a whale of a time.That is no more or less than what this fine young man deserves.

john Hutchinson, U.K

John Hutchinson on December 16, 2003 03:35 PM

Hi everyone,

Hey John, Jon's article couldn't be in better hands with you, that's for sure! Can't wait to read it on Drina's webpage! Writing from the heart is the absolute *best* way to write! Though a lot of movies' scripts don't seem to think so, IMHO. Jon's acting was/is from the heart -- maybe that's partly why he must've felt stomped all over by *Hollyweird* er, I mean, *Hollywood.*

And thanks a million for all your great words John -- I totally agree with you about Jon being mesmerizing in "Fall Into Darkness" and wondering how difficult it must be for Jon's Mum, Dad, friends and especially whoever found Jon. :::::shivers:::::

Some articles say he hung himself in a hallway in his apartment -- some say he hung himself in a hallway of his apartment "complex." Can you imagine if the latter is true? Then he was hanging in a "public place" and no one saw him! :(((((( Just boggels the mind.

Hey, hopefully TYTT has arrived for you! I haven't seen that one yet. Maybe Jon can put in a good word to Santa for me -- to send a DVD player. :)

The T-shirts sound great too John! Maybe I'll have one made up too -- hmmm, maybe a pic of Jon, with the saying someone mentioned before about "Heroes are remembered, but legends never die," along with the webpage addy -- that'd be awesome, IMHO.

Gosh with all of Jon's fans on Drina's webpages, other message boards and stuff on the internet -- I agree with others' opinions -- that we think Jon would be pretty amazed at how much his fans love him!

Take care everyone!

Judy on December 17, 2003 06:57 AM

Hi Judy

Yes you're right.Writing from the heart is the best way of doing it.Infact it's the only way I know of doing it.

And if there was ever anyone else that put his heart into what he was doing then that was Jonathan.

He was never less than excellent and always enhanced whichever production he was taking part in.

So,what I write about Jonathan will as I say come from the heart,now and at any time in the future.

I am looking forward to doing the article but unfortunately the DVD has not arrived yet.I am keeping my fingers crossed and I know it is on its way!

As far as the pics of Jonathan for t-shirts are concerned,that would be a nice idea but just about everyone of them would be copyrighted and the people at work will not do copyrighted images on shirts without the express written permission of the copyright holders.

Original artwork or a website we can do,but I don't know how we could overcome the problem of copyright in the matter of photos.

I try not to think about what the scene must have been like when Jonathan was found.It is just still too ghastly for me to try and contemplate.I cannot really imagine that it was done outside his apartment otherwise surely someone would have found him,it makes more sense that it would have happened inside and whoever it was who found him either got worried and kicked the door down or had access to the apartment.

But you know the press.Half a truth is better than none,so I guess they will pretty much say what they want and not worry too much whether it's right or wrong.

I will certainly keep you in mind for a t-shirt and let you know what I think of them when I get them on Friday.

Hopefully I will have that DVD by then as well!!

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 17, 2003 01:29 PM

Hi everyone,

John, your style of writing really is superb! Really can't wait to see your article! And Drina, I'm biting my nails in suspense for Jan 1!!! :)

Sure hope the DVD has arrived, John. And THANKS for reminding moi about copyrights on Jon's pics -- had totally forgotten about that with the excitement of thinking of what to put on the T-shirt.

Yup I agree -- the press pretty much says what it wants without caring whether its true or not. I've known a few situations where newspapers left out large chunks of situations, which really slanted the way it looked to anyone who read the articles. It's really so sad, but has taught me to never think that newspaper/media articles portray what "really" happened.

Oh well, on a brighter note -- maybe with Christmas sales, there'll be a VCR/DVD player out there somewhere that'll be in my home soon. Then I'll be RUNNING to Tower Records where they have TYTT for sale!!

Judy on December 19, 2003 05:43 AM

Hi Judy and everyone.

Yes the DVD has finally arrived and is sitting in my player waiting to go just as soon as I get all the chores out of the way,

I have watched a few minutes of it already and it looks fantastic.Not only is Jonathan there looking in absolutely great shape but so is the lovely Meredith Monroe from Dawsons Creek(Andi McPhee,Jack's sister)and Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years and lately The West Wing,so with that fine cast it looks as if this movie cannot go wrong.

I am completely at odds with the press and TV at the moment.I don't think any of the newspapers in this country said a single word about the tragic loss of the completely blameless Jonathan Brandis,who never had any scandal attached to him,just got on with the job of trying to entertain people by doing what he did best,acting,acting his heart out on many occasions,always giving of his best.I really don't know what more we could ask from a performer than that.And yet when I see some of the so-called celebrities that do fill the column inches....well,perhaps my opinions are best left unwritten but I think you can hazard a good guess at them.

As for TV?Well,as I probably mentioned before,our main commercial network ITV1 managed to make a Movie Premiere of Jonathan's movie "Outside Providence" this week,but they did at half past midnight after broadcasting an hour of soap opera,three hours of reality TV and a mere half an hour of news and current affairs.I am sure it is not too long ago that a network would have been in serious trouble for such rotten and inconsiderate scheduling, but now nobody who can do anything about it seems to care.

I am sure they will care a lot when the Christmas ratings appear and they find that a lot of homes have either viewed mainly satellite channels or not bothered with the TV at all.DVD player and disc sales are through the roof right now in this country and you have to ask if it is any wonder.

An old friend of mine e-mailed me the other day and said I studied some strange people.I asked him how many times in all the years that I had known him had he ever known me to run with the crowd.I still await his response to that but the honest answer is not very many.Someone else at work not too long ago asked me if I liked anyone that everyone else liked.I had to answer "probably not" or words to that effect.

I hope that does not sound elitist,it's not meant to,but it does mean that while they are enjoying reality shows and comedians I don't find at all funny,I am enjoying people with style,class and talent.

Now,who do we know who fits into that category?

That reminds,me I have that DVD waiting to be watched!!

I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 19, 2003 02:50 PM

Hey everyone,

John, I certainly agree with your whole post -- being completely at odds with the press and tv, and everything. Yeah, hadn't noticed, but Jon never had any scandal attached with him -- that's gotta be a world record for someone in Hollywood! It was probably REALLY hard for him to live in "Hollyweird" without doing scandalous stuff. He was/is really a lot stronger than a lot of people realize, I'll bet!

Must've been hard for you John, to stay up so late to catch Outside Providence -- but bet it was worth it! Yup, I totally agree with the tv programming you mentioned. The things that must go through tv execs heads' sometimes, to put stuff like that on tv -- yikes.

Hey, how was TYTT?! I still haven't been able to drool over it, er, I mean, to *see* it yet. :)

Hey, meet a kindred spirit -- most of the people/movies I have a passion for don't usually "go along with the pack." Except for rare exceptions. Reminds me of the song "Zap The World," which goes a little like this:

I used to wonder what hex I was under,

What did I do to be so different?

Then I discovered some others like me.

Wonder no longer, together we're stronger,

It's not so bad to be different.

Be true to yourself,

That's what you must be.

Different is hard,

Different is lonely,

Different is trouble for you only,

Different is heartache,

Different is pain,

But I'd rather be different, than be the same.

Take care everyone.

Judy on December 20, 2003 12:59 PM

Hi Judy

I must let you into a little secret here.I did not stay up to watch "Outside Providence".Unfortunately I have to get up for work at six in the morning so that would have been a bit difficult to do after staying up until about 2.15 the night before.

So I am sorry but I wimped out on that one.

The Year That Trembled is great and Jonathan is brilliant in it.So are Meredith Monroe and Martin Mull, but Jonathan takes the honours.

I have e-mailed the makers Novel City Pictures (you can easily do it from their Year That Trembled website at and complemented them on their movie and on getting the best performance I have seen him give from Jonathan.

It all just makes me all the more sad for what might have been.I mean, I don't know what the US TV schedules are like over the holidays but over here it's like drowning in dross,with a few notable exceptions.Still the Jonathan Brandis DVD collection I am building up should help me out of that particular problem.

I am hopign to start work on my article about Jonathan tomorrow but I am going to take my time over it because the chap who is editing the magazine has already interviewed Jay Craven (TYTT director)and written his own review of the film,but now wants somebody-me-to write about from the point of view of a fan of Jonathan and to do something of an overview of his career as well.So it won't be a rushed job, there are many things I want to make sure I say about Jonathan and you can be assured they are ALL HIGHLY complementary.

One thing I want to add about Jonathan now though.You may notice this when you see TYTT but have you ever noticed how he can project what he says so clearly but rarely raises his distinctive voice much above a whisper?Jason Behr did the same in Roswell and I must say I think it's a great skill in projection.It means you can hear them but you also listen to what their characters have to say.

Hope that makes some sort of sense but see what you think.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 20, 2003 02:58 PM

I do have the DVD of "Outside Providence" as well so I hope that excuses me not staying up to watch it on TV!!

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 20, 2003 03:01 PM

A triumph of sorts here.The teltext service on ITV1 has published my complaint today about the scheduling on Tuesday night,but managed to edit out any reference to Jonathan,to the title of the film "Outside Providence" and to the fact that I condemned their whole evening's schedule apart from the movie as SHAMEFUL in capital letters.

So I have sent them another e-mail reminding them of these few points.

What do you think my chances are of getting THAT published?

Somewhere between nil and zero is my guess because people will swamp them with letters about soap operas Christmas makeover shows,Pop Idol etc etc.

Still,we'll see.

It also just said on our local news that Christmas shopping is going to hit fever pitch in Leeds(near where I live)today.

Which sounds like a good excuse to put a Jonathan Brandis DVD in the player to me.

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 21, 2003 05:33 AM

Hi everyone,

Gosh John, looks like they slanted your complaint to make it look worse just to get responses from other people. Hmmm, you sure you don't live in Hollywood? (Just teasing!) But how typical of media stuff!! Gosh, what we Jon fans go through, eh?

Hey, I don't blame you for not staying up late if you already have the DVD of Outside Providence! That's so cool -- you can see it whenever you want!! WOO-HOO!!

I'm so glad you wrote Novel City about TYTT and Jon!! There's so much bad stuff in the media these days, it's so refreshing when someone gives compliments! Yeah, it *so* heartbreaking thinking of what might have been with Jon's performances, if he was still here.

Sounds like a wise plan John, to watch a Jon DVD instead of tackling the holiday shoppers. Um, I'm gonna be guilty of that in a little while (become a holiday shopper) -- oh Lord, have pity on me! :))

Judy on December 21, 2003 12:25 PM

Well we'll have to see whether it gets any other responses or not, but I think they cut it because they automatically assume that all their readers are as dumb as they are( they were probably scratching their heads wondering what is this "Outside Providence" and who is this Jonathan Brandis?) and also they don't like words like SHAMEFUL being shouted loudly at them when it comes to describing their schedule and their attitude!

Or they might just have cut it for length,but they managed to cut the five best words out of it!

Don't worry about that Christmas shopping, we all have it to do.I decided this year was going to be the big year when I did all my Christmas shopping from home via the net.

Ultimately I ended up doing about half of it on the internet but I do seem to have ordered quite a number of DVD's that way,all of which have one person in common.

I have also ordered The Year That Trembled book by Scott Lax from and the t-shirt of the movie from the Novel City Pictures website.

Steve Bissette,the chap I am doing the article for,is still in touch with Jay Craven the director and I e-mailed him this afternoon to say that if he has contact with Jay and if Jay has contact with the Brandis family,maybe he could just communicate to them that we are all thinking of them and of Jonathan at this time,which must be a very difficult time for them.

Whether that will happen who knows but I thought it was quite a nice idea so I hope others agree.

What do you think of the candle idea?Are you going to do it?

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 21, 2003 02:25 PM

I just remembered something else about TYTT I meant to tell you.

Without spoiling the story one of the female characters comes up to Casey(Jonathan's character) and tells him to "make something of all this."His reply is something on the lines of "I am, I'm writing about it".

Given what's happened,that nearly had me in tears.Life imitating art and all that.

You simply must see this film Judy!

John Hutchinson

John Hutchinson on December 21, 2003 02:30 PM

Hey everyone,

John -- please excuse me while I stop drooling over the snippet of TYTT that you mentioned. :)) I just can't wait to see this movie -- will probably have tons of tears; from seeing Jon, and knowing what's happened to him since the film.

Hey that's smart to do Xmas shopping over the net -- no long lines and no people smooshing into you and no people waddling like turtles in front of you when you're trying to get somewhere fast. LOL :)

It'll be interesting to see how the book TYTT differs from the movie. Although I think someone here already mentioned that? Sorry, my little brain forgets where some posts are.

Hey, I sure hope Steve can communicate to the Brandis family via Jay Craven! They all sound like cool people, and seems like they'd want to help out if they can. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, hoping it happens!!

Yes, the candle idea sounds beautiful! Imagine everyone doing this when the holidays come, and wonder what the planet will look like from "far above" with all these candles lit and with all our collective love going to Jon!!

Judy on December 21, 2003 08:09 PM


i'm from malaysia.... you know something....i'm a big fan of jonathan brandis...especially in SeaQuest...but when i've got a news that he was can imagine what i'm feel...i built a dream that one day i could celebrate my birthday with him because his birthday really close with my birthday is on 14 april and his birthday is on 13 close everything is over..i know my dream will never come sad..but what ever thanks for all the stuff in this web makes jonathan keeps alive...sometimes i think he probably not love his fan..thas why he took a shortcut to end his life....but when i think again...i'm sure he had a problem and he reach at the dead way....i really miss him...

fariey on December 5, 2005 01:19 AM