Welcome to

Sunday September 30, 2001

Porn at the library.

Porn at the library... Interesting news. I was at work today... shelving and sorting. Well, I was sorting a cart when I dropped a book, and flying out comes a booklet of the nastiest porn... it was the kind guys used to have to go to the "special stores" to find. Absolutely nasty. And the funny thing was, it came out of a religious nonfiction book. I could have traced who checked it out last, but I figured anyone could have borrowed it from that person, so I didn't. What a day.


My burgeoning guestbook

Ha my room mate signed the book.... hehe I think a new layout has been long overdue. I'm working on it. A very cosmic one... I just don't have time between my million neuroscience tests to study for and million social psych chapters to read to actually finish it. I'll try. But forget about any new art pieces. That's too much work for now. I haven't even been doing art, even with my art class... which, by the way, sucks. All we've been doing is writing in a "visual journal" where we talk, not draw. And our projects thus far have been of the third-grade variety. Not very stimulating, to say the least. I've definitely taken a step backward with this one. Maybe next semester I'll take color theory. That class I could use.

That picture I wrote about in the gbook... the eagle sharpening it's claws... if anyone can find it, please send it to me, or tell me where to find it.


Tuesday September 25, 2001

If I were vioent...

Sometimes when it comes to the people I care about, I don't know whether to hit them or kiss them. If anyone else calls me "copper top" one more time, it will earn them a big fat bruise.


Monday September 24, 2001

Weird things. Really weird.

Something my roomie told me to do: open up Word, then type Q33 NY (all in caps). Highlight it, and then enlarge it to 48 or so... also, change the font to Wingdings. Weird.


Saturday September 22, 2001


I chopped my hair and dyed it Burgundy. I'll show pics when my computer at school gets hooked up.


Sunday September 16, 2001

Laboring diversion

At work today, I was going through the aisles picking up abandoned books since it was almost time to close... I saw the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. He was maybe 6' and had dark short hair. He was wearing a black (or was it navy?) buttow-down shirt, and looked maybe about 22. I wanted to talk to him so bad, but I was rushing because I had so much left to do. I ran into him again at the circulation desk, but he was on his way out. I hope he uses the library a lot. I want to talk to him. The guy situation here at school is pretty weak; it's either football players, or boys who take themselves way too seriously. I should have said something.

My brother came and fixed my bed, so it's not wobbly... I get nervous being up so high, and the swaying action didn't help that. It's cool now. All we have to do is loft my roomie's bed, and we can fit a couch! I am so pumped. Like a whole house packed into a 16' x 14' space.


Friday September 14, 2001

Temporary relief

My cousin is not shipping out! At least for another two months or so. My brother e-mailed me today and said he talked to him on the phone or on the computer. I guess his carrier is undergoing repairs, or something. This is awesome. I know that he'll probably be sent out eventually, but for now he's good. That's some good news.

Today was weird... there was a small electrical fire in my psych building, so our class was taught with the alarms going off. Nothing big. But then my prof had to leave early because of a medical emergency in his family. This week just keeps getting weirder and weirder. I'm tired. The kind of tired that makes your eyes water. My brother came yesterday to loft my bed... I've never slept up on the top bunk before. It sways. I was scared... I didn't sleep much.

I'm happy it's Friday. I just want this evil week to be over. It's time for a new one. Maybe a new year. This one has been a mix of the unbelievably awesome, and the unbelievably horrifying. Great way to kick off the millenium, eh?


Wednesday September 12, 2001

Future wars?

I think my cousin might be shipping out to the Middle East soon. Navy is mobilizing. I bet my aunt is freaking out right now. The bomb threat was a fake... at least nothing was found on campus. They let us back into the dorms at about 9:30. Some people were still scared and took off, but I didn't because we have class today. In psych we talked about ways we can deal with this. Constructive ways... because soon there will be a backlash against the Arab community, and some innocent Muslim people will probably be attacked here. That's scarry. I need to go.


Tuesday September 11, 2001

Bomb threats

There's been a bomb threat at the school, and everyone has been locked out of their dorms. I'm at the library now. I'm considering driving home for the night. I don't know if we'll have classes tomorrow. I hope not.

The service was a solemn one. There was a quiet period where anyone who wanted to say anything could stand up and speak. A lot of people did. I wanted to say something, but I didn't. I can't speak in public... but that's okay, because everything I wanted to say was said by someone else. My psych teacher got up and talked about how his son was murdered, and how to learn to be peaceful in spite of these kinds of things. I had no idea. A lot of people showed up. We lit candles, sang Amazing Grace, and cried like nuts. I really want to be with my friends now, but I don't know where they are.

Where do we go from here?


Giving blood

The blood mobile was scheduled to be on campus today, and when they got here, I don't think they were prepared to handle the number of people who showed up. Hundreds came, and the usual number is 70-something. I was really scared to do it, but there were other scared first-timers there who made me feel better. It was nothing. I'd do it again. There is going to be a service at 7:00 on campus today, and I still don't know if classes will resume tomorrow or not. I hope not. I am not in that studying frame of mind. I can't think about things like that right now. How many hundreds or thousands of people were killed today? This madness is unreal. People on the streets of Pakistan were cheering and passing around candy. "God is good," they say. Does that mean they believe that God enjoys the shedding if innocent blood?

I'm nervous. This is exactly how I felt when Columbine went down. I have this fidgety sadness, and I don't know what to do. I can't even imagine how many people lost fathers and mothers, sisters and best-friends, sons, brothers, daughters, wives and husbands today. But I have to remember that the people who died today are now in a place where nobody can hurt them anymore.


BW has been shut down

Scary stuff. My school is shut down, because we're five minutes from Hopkins Airport, which supposedly has a plane with a bomb on it. We're on total shutdown. Sarah is not going home, traffic is probably extraordinarily bad. She's going to kick it here for a while. So many people are probably dead. So many people... People on planes, people in buildings, firefighters who rushed into the World Trade buildings had it collapse on them. This is a nightmare. I don't know what to do. A bunch of us hiked down to the student center to give blood, since the blood drive was today. There are so many people, I'll probably be waiting for a good two to three hours or so. Everybody came, because they don't know how else to help. This is crazyness. Pure crazyness.


Monday September 10, 2001

Purchases and evil computers

I bought a piece of crap network card. I know it. I put it in yesterday, and all of a sudden, it says, "Error, trying to write to drive C. Files may be lost." Dammit I just bought this computer. I think it's okay for now, since I took it out. It was being stupid for a half hour or so, but I fixed it. Ante is coming on Thursday to see what's going on. Piece of crap, I tell you. I NEED to have that set up soon. I can't hike it to the library every five minutes when I need to do something, send something, etc. I know, I know... I'm a hopeless addict. I don't care.

Today in my Social Problems class, this professor from China came in and talked to us for an hour. I was impressed; his English is better than my parents' and he's never been to the States before. A couple idiots fell asleep. I wanted to kick them, or something. That's not how you act when someone comes in to visit like that. Losers. What are they doing here anyway? Why are you paying $20,000 a year if you're going to treat it like naptime? Probably some little rich boys, or something.


Saturday September 08, 2001

Going crazy

Five hours staring at a computer screen can do a number on your eyesight. I should really do some studying, or something. Neuroscience test this week. Why am I thinking about this on a Saturday night!?? My brain is so fried, I'm not even kidding. I don't even make sense to myself.

I love Gidean Yago. Did I mention that I love Gidean Yago? It's because I'm in love with Gideon Yago. Pass it on.


Tuesday September 04, 2001

Human cloning... I know it

Human cloning has officially begun. I'm sure of it. How else do you explain the fact that on every magazine cover, every television channel, every place you turn, Britney Spears is smiling back at you? There's more than one of this girl. There has to be. Sarah brought over the new Rolling Stone for me last night. Britney. YM came yesterday. Britney. I turned the radio on (92.3 "Xtreme" radio... blah blah blah). Britney. Doing Pepsi. ::That wasn't meant to sound dirty:: I'm suffering from Britney overexposure. I just can't get away from this girl.

Last night, after handing over the all-about-Britney Rolling Stone, Sarah gave me a bottle of do-it-yourself highlights... she wanted her hair highlighted. Disaster. DISASTER! I don't know whether we left it in too long, or because I did a terrible job, but she had big orange stripes in her hair. We rushed out to Super K at 1 am to buy some brown dye, but when we got home we realized that it was just a semi-permanent brightening gel, not real dye. We did it anyway. Her scalp was red, her hair was still stripety orange, and I wanted to die. I felt so bad. I am never, ever going to dye anyone else's hair ever again. This is like that episode of Daria where she dyes Jane's hair and it turns out like fireworks-gone-wrong. Never. Maybe today we'll buy some more and try to fix it.

And on to more positive things, how many layouts does it take to be an obsessive-compulsive designer? Either OCD, or brilliance. I'm still trying to figure out which. Steven has done it again. Seems like every post in this blog has some little shout-out to Steven and his new layout. I should just program this thing automatically to say, "Go see Steven's new layout," at the end of every post.


Sunday September 02, 2001

My new computer

I am now the owner of a brand new PowerSpec 1.0 GHz computer, which basically kicks the sorry a$$ of the one I'm using to post this blog entry. We went to Microcenter and looked around for a notebook, but they were a little out of our price range. My brother helped me pick out this desktop, and he's coming to school with me tomorrow to set it up in my room! I also picked up a webcam, and a Powerpuff Girls mouse pad! I kinda wanted Emily Strange, but they didn't have it. I can always order one online. Not that ordering online is very reliable... yesterday I ordered stuff from Hot Topic, and today I get this e-mail saying the things I ordered are out of stock. Every single thing! Bleh. Anyway, I'm happy about my new computer. No more public virus-infested desktops at the library!


Lessons from Tigger

Klara and I just finished watching the Tigger movie. I love it... Tigger is going around trying to find his family, the people who look and bounce like him, only to discover that his real family is made up of friends that care about him. Classic story (or trite story, which ever way you choose to look at it), but I love that idea. Your real family is not just a group of people that look and act like you. Family is the group of people that actually give a damn, and would go through a blizzard looking for you, just like Pooh and the gang went out for Tigger. I know who my real family is.

Today, I think I discovered what it must have felt like for my parents when I went off to college. My brother, Ante, found these three tiny little bunnies in his yard today. They were so small, I could hold all three in the same hand. Well, he couldn't keep them, so he gave them to me to take to the Metroparks and let them go. The shelter said they were old enough. I don't believe that. Anyway, I went to the parks and released them, after deciding against letting them hang out in our garden. As soon as I got back in the car, I wanted to turn around and get them back. Those poor little bunnies, out in the forest, on this cold night! I just wanted to go get them and bring them home and give them a box and some food! I felt so bad. Like I gave a freakin kid away, or something.

That's not the only reason I'm feeling bad. Sarah and I went shopping, when she mentioned that she found a cd at the Y. It was mxpx live, which is one mxpx cd I don't have. She said it's been there for a while, so we went up there after the Y closed, and she went in and got it for me. Somebody else's cd. I keep telling myself that it's an abandoned cd and nobody asked for it back... plus it's not even a store-bought one. Somebody just burned a copy. But are those just excuses to make me feel better for taking something that's not mine? I don't know. I'm stupid.