April 26, 2002

HIATUS...

HIATUS...

Sonafide is taking a break for a couple weeks, until finals are over. I also want to take some time to gut & redesign this place, because right now I'm not satisfied with the content and direction of this website. Stress is bad, so I'm waiting for it to go away. All this crap will stay up until that happens.

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April 24, 2002

Man I can not wait

Two more weeks, and school is over. I can't believe it went by so quickly. This year flew... On the one hand I'm glad, because I have a couple classes this semester I'm not fond of. To be over with those would make me very happy. On the other hand, I don't think I'll enjoy moving back home for the summer. My parents, everywhere, 24/7. I already can't wait for next year.

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April 22, 2002

Religion can wait for cake

Religious discussion and birthday cake do not mix. Yesterday was my mom's 50th birthday. We had a surprise party for her at my granmda's house. Most of the family was there, and I know my mom was happy to be able to hang out with her brothers and sisters. Only after an hour or so, the topic turned to religion. My mother, the fiercest Catholic woman you would ever meet, decided (yet again) that this would be a great opportunity to tell everyone that the Pope is excellent, stigmatas are real, and everyone not a practicing Catholic is in for some trouble on Judgement Day.

I was really proud of myself; I didn't say a word. It doesn't really matter, because I know my mom will never take anything I say seriously. I am, after all, a heretic who will spend many seasons in purgatory after I die. My aunts, though, took exception to her preaching, and since they don't really believe in God they played along and argued for a while. I left in the middle of the discussion. My life is not about Catholicism anymore, and I don't care to debate it with my mother. She wouldn't hear it anyway.

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April 16, 2002

Feeling high no more

This high I was on yesterday has faded, to the point that I'm now in lower spirits than I was before... I'm on a major downswing. The picture I worked on for the art show cost me time, which was supposed to have been spent on school work. I'm tired, I've gotten no sleep, I have loads of work to do, and today I got a 48/100 on my imaging project. The assignment was to make two postcards of Cleveland, and I only had one. I didn't have time to do anymore, and I feel like shit.

This is the only one I got done. I spent so much time on it (not that you can tell, but I'm a perfectionist, and I played around with so many things that I never used for the final product). I just want to quit school. I'm so stressed, I have so much work to do... I don't know what to do. I met with my advisor to confirm my classes for next semester, and I realized then just how much I hate doing this. I hate it.

I don't want to sit in class doing experiments on rats and learning research methods with the most evil professor I've ever met. He has a doctorate, and dammit you better recognize... I hate it. Dammit.

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April 15, 2002

First place, baby

Yesterday, we went to the opening but left early... I had no idea what the results were. But today I stopped by the gallery to show my friend, Sarah, the picture. We got to the door, and I pointed to my drawing through the glass, and there I saw it: a big sticker with FIRST PLACE written on it, right above the tag next to the drawing. I haven't ever said holy shit so many times in my life. I didn't get BEST OF SHOW (so technically, I was second) but this is so thrilling. Holy shit.

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The streak is over!!!

I won something!!! Holy freak I won 1st place in the art show. Holy cow. There's a check in my name for $250. Holy freakin cow.

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I love my birthday

My parents surprised me yesterday morning with cake and balloons, as they do every year. We went out to eat at the Roadhouse, where underpaid dishwashers and busboys clapped and sang me their birthday tune. The whole restaurant was into it, clapping along and embarrassing me. What else could I expect from a family outing?

After that we stopped at my dorm so that I could change for the gallery reception. We walked into the gallery, and my parents saw my picture hanging there, and my dad got that proud father look in his eyes. I'm really proud of them for not saying anything to embarrass me. My mom walked around and found some pieces that she liked, and actually did not say anything about the explicit bondage photo I was so worried about. No complaints. We were happy.

After we visited some friends in Avon Lake so that I could take pictures of their children for my imaging class. I'm illustrating an eight page book about kids who make a wish to visit another planet (and do). They were cute. They went out in the rain and got all muddy. The youngest kept saying look at my butt! I didn't realize he sat in a puddle, and he was trying to show me that he was all wet.

And so now my birthday is over, I'm a year older, and I'm spending the day after (that would be today) yet again freaking out over what classes to take next semester. Same old crap, different day.

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April 12, 2002

Holy freakin cow

I'm still in holy freakin cow mode. Tomorrow I have to go shopping so I can buy some things to wear for the opening. The only things I have are jeans, black t-shirts, and swishy pants. I've never been to a gallery reception before, but I'm guessing jeans are not the expected attire. Then again, I could be wrong. I don't know.

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April 11, 2002

Whoa, whoa, whoa

Right before color theory class today, I took a stroll through the gallery. I walked up and looked into the glass door and saw my framed drawing hanging up on the front wall. I had seen my drawing there before, sitting against the wall on the floor, but not yet hanging. And I looked at, trying to imagine what it looks like to people seeing it for the first time. What will they think? Will they think, this girl needs to learn a few things? Will they see it as just another piece in a room full of many?

I have to say, it was a rush seeing it hang there. This is the first time, the very first time, I've ever had any artwork I've done hang anywhere but my mom's refridgerator and my best friend's bedroom wall. It's in a gallery. People will see it. I made it into a juried show, and I can't be more thrilled. Wow, I really sound like a dork. I just can't believe that the stupid drawing I stressed out over --the one I stayed up every night to finish, is hanging in a gallery. I feel like maybe someday I'll be able to say I'm an artist --not just an art student. I have light years to travel before I'm good enough for that label, but I think I can do it.

The opening is on Sunday, my birthday. I want to go, but I know my family will want to. And there are some pieces in the show that I know will upset my fanatically Catholic mom. But I want to go. Dilemmas, dilemmas. I'm in a show. Holy freakin cow.

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So I'm still a good girl (sort of)

The copy of the test I got in my e-mail was a take-home. Nobody is cheating (whew). I'm glad that it's a take-home, because otherwise I would be taking it now, and I'm not even close to being prepared for it.

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April 10, 2002

This is what I call a conundrum

I just got an e-mail forward, containing a .doc file that has my exam for tomorrow. A printout is in my hand now. Who sent it to me, I have no idea. Why, I have no idea. Whether I'm supposed to have this or not, I have no idea. Why would someone send me the test? Someone I don't know, much less? Weird. I don't know what I'm going to do about it.

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Artsy butterflies

I'm nervous about this exhibit. The opening is on Sunday at 2 pm, which is on my birthday. I don't know of a better present I could have than to see my drawing hung up on the gallery wall. That, I'm excited about. But I'm nervous about the placements. I'm really not expecting to win anything, but I would love to have at least an honrable mention. I worked hard on that damn thing. I posted a webcam shot of it in the online gallery here (there's a glare, though).

I'm addicted to the Osbournes. Madly in love with it, yes I am. We were all watching it last night. It's nice to see Ozzy (who's brain is fried more than KFC's best) tell his son to stay off the drugs... Bleeps aside, he seems like a good dad. And I love Kelly's hair. I want pink.

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April 09, 2002

On my plate for next semester

I signed up for classes today. Psych of Learning, Intro to Printmaking, Research Methods, Abnormal Psych, Western Art II. Lots of stuff on my plate for next semester... I think I need a vacation.

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April 08, 2002

Celebrate, people

I made it. I went to the gallery after class this morning, but it was closed. I ran into my teacher though, who is running the show, and he said that my drawing was accepted! Holy crap this is the first time anything I've done has ever hanged on a gallery wall. I'm giddy hehehehe...

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April 07, 2002

Waiting for a word

No word on the show, whether my drawing made it in or not. I have no idea. And I don't know if they've picked the winners yet. I'm not expecting anything, I just really want to know that I belong with the other art freaks here. I think I do. Funny --as a child I fit in with everybody; as a high school student I fit in with nobody; and as a college idiot I'm finding my niche. I like that.

Yesterday was Sarah's 22nd birthday party. She gave me an invitation with her birthday wishlist... nice. She had her usual house party, complete with drunken gay boys everywhere.

Today I drove downtown to take pictures of the city for my imaging project. Fantastic Cleveland is the name, and we are to make four postcards. I don't think my mom understood the idea of showcasing Cleveland's bright spots. She suggested I take photos of the homeless in the projects. Sure.

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April 06, 2002

Sleep feels good

Sleep feels good.

Really, really good. Hmmmph.

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April 05, 2002

And now I can get some sleep

It is finished. I did it, with a few minutes to spare. It's completed (though not to my satisfaction) matted and framed, and is sitting in the gallery waiting for judging in the student show. I'm tired. Last night I went to bed at four (still working on it) and woke up at eight (to work on it some more). I'm really tired.

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April 03, 2002

Serendipity

On the way to room draw tonight, Steph and I stopped on the first floor to see the room we were thinking of getting. There was this girl in the hall that said, "No, come see my room, it's a lot bigger!" We went into her room, and it's huge! It used to be a triple, and was converted into a double. Steph and I grabbed it right away, and so next year my room will be almost twice the size as the one I have now. I'm so happy.

The picture is still slow going. I'm tired.

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April 02, 2002

It's coming along

The picture is slowly developing. It's a long process, and as I'm going along, I'm seeing more and more mistakes in proportion, direction, shading, etc. I keep finding things that I want to change, only to have it too late to make an adjustment. It's set. I hate that. I wish I could start over again, but this picture is due this week.

So far I've been neglecting all of my other work this week to finish this drawing. I have a massive SPSS project to work on, a color theory painting to start, and photographs to take for imaging. Yeah, that's all going down the shitter. I'm too busy drawing.

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