Jenn has been contemplating leaving her blog behind (much to my chagrin) and ended her last two posts with the catchphrase I quoted above. The internet is weak, yo.
Every blogger eventually gets to this point in the road, when they consider dropping their blogs. Sometimes it's because life gets in the way of updating it regularly... I know how that feels, considering how crazy busy I've been lately.
Other times, though, bloggers get frustrated with how their blogs change their lives in undesirable ways. Jenn wrote that she was frustrated her friends were reading her blog rather than dialing her cell... a common irritation pervading the blogosphere. That begs the question:
Is blogging really a good way to keep in touch with people?
I use my blog in part to keep my friends up on what's going on in my complicated little mind, because honestly, I don't do a very good job of telling them in person. As a reader, I visit other people's blogs to get the daily scoop. And like Jenn, I've got friends whose voices I don't quite remember, yet whose browsers visit me regularly. Does reciprocal blog reading really constitute a relationship?
I had long believed that blogging helped me to connect to people, but is blogging just another high-tech tool for keeping us isolated? I don't know, but it gives me another reason to rethink the purpose of writing all of this stuff. You know... all that why am I here business, without the metaphysical/spiritual implications.
No, it's not profanity lite. It's my diet.
Back in April I started a non-diet diet in an effort to undo the effects of spending 20 years in the chubby girl suit. Instead of using fad diet books and appetite suppressants (like I used to do) I've been making some small changes in the way I eat and the way I live in order to make a better me.
I set a goal to lose about two pounds per week, using Celebrity Fit Club for inspiration along the way (Go Phil!). As of today, I've lost a total of 21 pounds. Believe me there was some celebrating when I reached the 20 pound mark. I think the WOOOOing woke up my rats this moring.
Of course, I still have some ways to go, but I'm really happy about the way my non-diet diet is going!
Early next week I'll be hopping on a flight for a job interview in Atlanta. I'm excited to get out of Cleveland for a couple days, and it'll be great to see Stephanie, a.k.a. My Old Roomie again. Right now I'm whipping through my closet like a class 5 hurricane trying to find the right outfit to wear. Professional interviews and hot hot heat just don't mix.
I'm really looking forward to impressing the hell out of my prospective employer. Of course, whether or not that happens will all depend on my tongue-tiedness at the interview. Sometimes my mouth cooperates with me, and sometimes it doesn't. We'll see.
This is currently my only shot for moving on up in the science universe. Today I got online to check the status of another position that I applied for only to find that I had been listed as a "reject."
Three times. I'm not kidding. Look:
Was that really necessary?
I guess this is the new business model for deflating one's hopes: rejection redundancy. Maybe they were trying to nip any shameless begging in the bud. So with that job out the window, I'm going to focus even harder on making the most of my current opportunity. Next Monday I'm off. Wish me luck, and I hope I won't come back a reject.
It's been a while since I've used this blog for its intended purpose: talking about my thoughts, opinions, and noteworthy experiences. Lately I've complained about spam, displayed some pictures of my niece, complained some more about spam, and promised to finish writing things that I had no intention to finish in the near future.
Sometimes I sit here, with an open Create New Entry window wondering what I should write about. And then the debate starts.
Should I write about seeing the Warped Tour last week? Warped Tour Redux sounds like a really cool title. And I have a lot to say about the MXPX set. Yeah, okay... here I go.
Wait, no. What if my prospective employer sees this? I don't want them to think I'm an irresponsible crackhead or anything... Of course, I should be hired for my ambition and experience, not my taste in music. But what if?
Okay, so how about posting some more of my thoughts about the war in Iraq? I could write volumes about it, and I usually get good discussions brewing in the comments section. Sounds good.
...except then I'll attract the Republican Jesus crowd that posts nasty comments about me hating God and hating the troops and hating freedom and hating America and hating all that is good and holy. And honestly, I'm a little too tired to deal with that right now.
Plus it'll make Stephanie roll her eyes again.
I've always got more cute pictures of my rats, but what if everyone has goten bored with them? I already dedicated half this blog to Fat Bastard!
Should I do more blogging about being stressed?
About how I spend money at Target to cope with being stressed?
Or about feeling isolated now that all I do is work?
About how I have a crush on Gerard Way?
About wanting to move to Atlanta?
About not wanting to move to Atlanta?
About how 1307 comments spams have been spaminated from my blog in the last 3 days?
About how I'm doing on my diet?
About how I still have "little fat girl in the back of the class" syndrome?
About finding an old $20 bill in my pocket yesterday?
About how my rats are cute when they sleep?
About how I get angry when other Christians act like jerks?
About how I sometimes act like a jerk?
About how this post from LAmom is hella funny?
About how I'm surfing the Target.com website while simultaneously writing this post?
About how I sometimes wish I kept my blog anonymous?
About how I wish I won the lottery?
About how I'm glad that I haven't?
About the latest Psychology article I've read?
About how bummed I am that the guy I like doesn't give me the time of day?
About how the religious war on science irritates me?
About how I angry I am that I panic whenever I have to speak in front of a group of people, yet my brother and sister don't have that problem?
About how my car is a piece of shit?
About how I should be grateful that I have a car?
What?
What should I write about? Can I say anything without wondering how those reading it will perceive me? Isn't this the reason I started a blog... so that I can post about my life without worrying what other people will think?
And does anyone really want to see another picture of my rats?
As most of the regulars know, I've had some spam problems in recent months that was interfering with the comments sections. After a temporary move to Movable Type, but now have some anti-spam action in place to get rid of those 300+ ads a day for texas hold'em and viagra.
The comments are permanently open. Sorry, though, to a few folks whose comments I accidentally deleted on the last post. That was an error on my part. I'm just an error-prone person.
Viva la Movable Type!
In an effort to alleviate some of my Saturday lunch-hour lonliness at work, I decided to surf the web for some interesting quizzes. According to this one, I'm a twentysomething at heart. I feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
Who knew. Take it. Comments on, for now.
I am an idiot.
A really, really big one.
Being the idiot that I am, I've ruined the blog of someone I genuinely care about. Steve, the fabulously wonderful man behind A New Kind of Christian, has been hosted here at Sonafide for some time now. He's crafted an amazingly deep and thoughtful blog that spans several years, and thanks to a goof I made, about six months of his blogging may be lost. I'm not sure what I did or why I can't fix it. I feel like such a jerk.
Steve, I am so sorry.
I'm pretty sure my goof has to do with my recent foray into the WordPress universe, since it was only until I tried my hand at running it did Steve's website hit the skids. Actually, I'm sure that this was the cause, and it messed with the mySQL database that allowed his site to function.
I know that if my blog had suddenly vanished I would feel upset. I've spent a lot of time writing, thinking, reading... a lot of hours were spent here, and it would anger me to have them wasted. So far, Steve has shown he's a much better man than myself (of course, I'm not a man, but you know what I mean). He's been so patient with me this last week. I'm really amazed by that.
Seriously, I'm an idiot.
A really, really big one.
...
In other news, I'm flying to Atlanta in 10 days for a job interview. Wish this idiot some good luck. And don't hold your breath for the new Sonafide.com to come out so soon. I'm not using WordPress. Ever.
A big thanks to everyone who dropped e-mails with helpful suggestions for my WordPress/Movable Type/spam hell dilemma. I think my site will be back to normal in a few days, and all y'all can resume commenting n' stuff.
... because I don't have time to go into detail.
Tina logged onto my website and loved that fact that I wrote about her getting married. She thought her quote was so funny.
I may have gotten myself a job interview in Atlanta. Another phone call and I'll be booking a flight in the next few weeks.
Two months into my diet and I've officially lost 18 pounds. I'm not kidding, I really have.
My rats, Weezie and Nicodemus, looks like they're coming down with the same illness that killed Fat bastard. I'm really upset about that and I don't know what to do.
I'm still trying to learn WordPress, and it's actually going pretty well. It's not too hard, just... different. But Shannon has shown me the light with another blogging program called Serendipity. I might give it a try.
I need new bedroom furniture, and there's a set I want to buy, but it costs $4300 (real wood!). I'm currently looking for someone rich to help me out.
I think I'm suffering from work-related exhaustion. This 7 day per week non-stop work schedule is proving to be a little hard to handle.
I'm really bummed that I had to temporarily shut off my comments, because I miss Monster from the Id calling me "Drina-Diva."
Gotta go for now. Hopefully my new blogging program will be up and running and I'll have this thing switched over. Until then, remember, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.
Bloggers, help me out. Everyone else stop reading, you probably won't understand my pain.
I don't know if WordPress a gift from God to liberate me or a curse from Satan to frustrate me. It's got so much to offer, yet seeks to make things as complicated as humanly possible.
Do I really need to edit 52,931,204 templates?
Come on now.
After hanging with Movable Type for some years now, it's hard switching to something so completely and utterly different (and seemingly illogical).
Why does it not give you the option to view all of your comments?
Oy.
Posting will be light here until I figure it out and switch over. Don't bother commenting... I turned it off for unregistered visitors. I've been getting 500 spams a day that I have to manually delete.
Oy again.
I decided to pull a Ganns and name this one in honor of his charming post titles. So yesterday I get an AIM from a friend I haven't heard from in some months. After a brief exchange of hellos, I asked the standard, "What's new with you?" and got this in response:
Oh, nothing much. I got married. But other than that, nothing is new.
Wow. It's amazing how much things can change when you lose touch with people, even if only for a little while. I was happy, though, to hear the news. Congrats Tina, I wish you all the best.
Some niece blogging since I'm not done with my Christianity vs. Evolution essay. Enjoy.
Remember me? Look how big I got!
Scientology is a religion that I first heard about some years ago, most likely from a gossip article about Tom Cruise or John Travolta. I didn't really know anything about what Scientologists believed or what they practiced. I figured at the time that it was just another passing fad that Hollywood tried on for the cool factor.
I hate to admit it, but I was wrong about that. Tom Cruise and the other celebrity followers are still extolling the virtues of this mysterious religion. And although most of them (John Travolta, Lisa Marie Presley, Kirstie Allie, et al) still seem like relatively sane people, the recent madness displayed by Tom Cruise is enough for me to get my lazy rear end running sprints in the opposite direction.
Of course, it's great that celebrities are looking for meaning in their lives just like the rest of us shmucks in the real world. But turning to an organization started by a science fiction author is not going to fill the void. And it doesn't look like it has done very much for Tom. Of course, I don't know him personally, and I can't definitively say he wouldn't be a crack addict had it not been for his conversion. But from where I stand, I don't see someone at peace with his own life. I only see someone who's struggling with a counterfeit faith.
So it's been an entire work week since Stephanie (a.k.a. My Old Roomie) took off into the sunset and left me in Cleveland. We've been playing a lot of phone tag, but haven't managed to actually get in a conversation. From what my voice mail tells me, she's crazy busy with getting settled into her apartment. Hopefully one of these days she'll pencil me in and I can ask her questions live. Ooooh.
I've also been a little crazy busy myself, mostly with looking for a new job. Today I was told I have to take down pictures of my baby niece from the outside of my locker, lest anyone get offended by the unprofessional display. This is just one more thing to irritate me... the only reason I put up pictures of her in the first place is to make my work day a little less miserable. Now they took that away from me too.
What can I say... I hate my job. I spend my day frustrated and come home angry. I feel my face get flushed as my blood pressure rises. All of a sudden I have this road rage that popped up out of nowhere. Yesterday I screamed at a Toyota Corolla for cutting me off and came oh-so-close to unleashing the bird. What the heck is wrong with me?
I really don't know why I let my job affect me this way, and why I can't stop being angry with my coworkers. This hasn't really happened before. Sure, I've had jobs that sucked (child care provider, library pee-on, that one day as a Target cashier) but I always managed to stay relatively sane through all of the personality clashes and workplace politics. This time it's different... my job is sucking away every good thing in my life. And I hate it.
Right now I'm hitting up Monster.com, but I can't seem to find much that I'm qualified to do. It sucks not having a Master's degree, that's for darn sure. It sucks to be me.
What I love:
