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Thursday January 24, 2002

Techno hades

Okay, I'm back now from digital hell (otherwise known as having a messed up computer, being without the web, etc.) and I'm back online. I've missed it. I have a lot to say, and without my beloved blog I feel deprived. Now I'm absolutely positive that I'm completely incapable of expressing my thoughts and feelings without a keyboard. I blame my parents.

I started my new classes here. Other than the fact that I've started to seriously doubt my academic course I think Spring semester will go well for me. I have classes that will really help me, like color theory. I'll be able to look at objects and artwork with a more finely tuned artist's eye. The class seems like it'll be a bitch, but I think it will be a helpful bitch. I have some more art, but it's my psych classes that worry me. Now I'm starting to get into the nitty gritty of my major, and I'm not sure that I want to spend the rest of my life doing this. Doubts, I can't have them. This place is too expensive for me to be doubting now.

As if I'm not unsure enough yet, I'm having trouble in the friends department too. How exactly do you tell a friend that you're worried about them, without being a nosy judgemental idiot? I don't know how. I don't even know if it's my business to say something, because it's not like they're in any immediate danger, or anything. I'm just... concerned. And I hate saying that, because now I sound like a parent.

I had a dream that my friend was shot three times in the back and died. What does this mean? I don't know. My friend Steph said it's because I'm mad at him, which I don't think I am. Annoyed maybe, but not mad. Anyway, it scared the crap out of me. I don't want him to die, but I'm dreaming about it. What kind of freak am I? Maybe I can analyze myself, now that I'm a psychologist-in-progress. I guess I'll just wait to see what I dream of tonight.

A fortune cookie said I'm wise to be like the moon, showing only my bright side to the world. Funny thing is, I don't think I've done that thus far. Hmph.