Saturday February 21, 2004

Internet dating? Wha huh?

I don't get it. I really don't, as hard as I've tried. I've listened to stories, explanations, justifications, a million and one arguments... and I'm still completely puzzled about internet dating. You know, meeting someone in a chat room; moving on to private instant messages; phone calls a little later; then finally hooking up in person. Why? Why do people do that?

Yesterday I was talking to a close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless, per her request) who was considering meeting tonight with a guy she met through Cleveland.com. She's been chatting with him for a while, and has talked to him on the phone. He even gave her cell a buzz while we were at a restaurant last night. He sounds like an okay guy, and his picture is pretty cute from what I've heard (of course, whether or not it's really an un-touched photo of him remains uncertain). But I'm still having issues with her meeting him.

He could be a psycho. He could be a loser. He could be anything, and she wouldn't know until she met him. Besides the obvious danger, she could be in for great disappointment. Is it so difficult to meet people the normal way --finding them through mutual friends or bumping into them at Arabica? Has anyone else out there done this, and enjoyed their experience? From what I can see, the internet may be a great tool for a lot of things... matchmaking probably not being one of them.

Enlighten me.

Comments

Several bloggers I read not only met dates online, but later married them! I don't think of internet dating as anything different than those phone-in dating services or even newspaper ads. Personally, I would never do any of those, because I'm paranoid, but I guess for some people it works.

theresa on February 21, 2004 04:14 PM

I personally think she is NUTS if she goes by herself. They need to meet in a public place with other couples and if possible have the police run a backgroung check on him. It costs nothing ( in Canada ) and it is worth it. Drina do your best to stop her, if that doesn't work, tell her parents what is going on, I am sure they would not approve.

Liz on February 21, 2004 08:04 PM

I think everyone is overreacting. Some of my very own guy friends have put personal ads on online dating services. So I know for a fact that there are normal people who are involved in those things. Not everyone in the world is a psycho...

Brooke on February 23, 2004 10:28 AM

I didn't mean to say that everyone's a psycho, but that you wouldn't know who is and who isn't. What if she's meeting a real nut?

Drina on February 23, 2004 10:35 AM

my friend met her boyfriend through the internet, met in a public place, etc etc...seem quite happy for the moment...but i don't think i'd ever have the guts to do it...

Sear on February 24, 2004 02:18 AM

My sister had a friend who met an ex through the net, they met up. My sister and their other friend went with her though when they did meet him, turned out he was really nice, but had a drug addiction. Its always better to be safe then sorry.. so why not go with her just incase or something?

Xee on February 25, 2004 08:19 PM

My friend ended up not going, although she's not really opposed to the idea of meeting people from the web. I guess she just didn't feel like it ::whew::

She's also a frequent reader here, and she read everything you guys wrote. Although I think she thought one piece of advice was funny --that I tell her parents. (She just graduated from college). But I think she appreciated the feedback!

Drina on February 25, 2004 10:03 PM

I met my boyfriend of a year and a half online. It wierded me out at first, because I didn't want to put stock in something so abstract, but there was something about the connection we made... He took the risk and flew out to meet me (3000 miles awa)... I took a friend with me when we met at the airport, and we went to a public place directly from there, just in case. I've met a lot of people off the net, some of them creepy and most of them normal, but always with friends and always in well lit public areas. It can definitely be worth it (he moved 3000 miles to be with me and we're planning to get married once I finish school.) I don't know if we would have connected if we'd met in person first... and I'm definitely not good at meeting people in person because of shyness...

Stacy on February 26, 2004 02:41 AM

Some people connect better on the internet than in person. It doesn't sound stupid to me. Not unless you've had only a few conversations with this person. Meeting him/her would crazy and scary.

mary chris on April 2, 2004 12:40 AM