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Thursday April 10, 2003

Freaking out at the crossroads.

Shocking news: I should be writing a paper, but I'm not (yeah, like that's never happened before). I was on a friend's site reading about her where do I go anxiety, and it got me thinking again (very dangerous). Instead of working, I'm ruminating over my post-graduation options, and wondering once again where the heck my life is supposed to go.

Anyone that knows me personally could probably write volumes about my indecisiveness. I know that I can only have one thing, or travel down one path, but I stand at the fork in the road unable to move. This way? That way? Which way am I supposed to be going?

My dilemma involves my two favorite subjects at school: art and psychology. Right now I'm ready to graduate from college with a B.S. in Psychology, and a minor in Studio Art. I'll probably be off to graduate school in a year or so, where I'll be earning my doctorate in social psych while frying my brains with more research papers. This is where my life is headed.

But right now I'm wondering whether this is what I want. I mean, what I truly want. I love psychology, and I know I can get my PhD, but I worry about having to let go of all the crappy art I make. Making crappy art brings me happiness, and I know that getting a PhD will require me to squeeze this out of my life.

I don't want that to happen.

So what do I do? Tell me. I want advice, because I'm an idiot and I can't make that decision on my own. God has thus far been silent on the issue, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. Everyone else thinks I'm crazy for even worrying about it. What do I do?


A good friend once told me that you should never do what you are passionate about for a living because it will take all of the fun out of it. I dunno if I agree with her though :)

theresa on April 10, 2003 09:34 PM

"This is what the Lord says: 'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." -Jeremiah 6:16a


amber on April 10, 2003 10:02 PM

Thanks Amber, that's certainly an appropriate verse for me to ponder right now. And you've been generous with the hugs lately. Thanks.

Drina on April 10, 2003 10:29 PM

That verse has meant a lot to me.

Anytime, Drina. I am a hugging machine! I know a cyber hug isn't near as effective as the real thing, but I'm a little limited here. :-\

amber on April 11, 2003 07:01 AM

mattie rhodes art/therapy center in kansas city often has staff openings for vista members.

jenn d on April 11, 2003 10:52 AM

I can totally empathize with you Drina. But I've no idea what you should do. LOL. If I knew, I probably wouldn't be in a bit of the same predicament. :)

Courtney on April 12, 2003 11:18 AM

Hi Drina

I don't think anyone can give you an easy answer, and it's important that the decision be your own.

I do believe that ultimately, we have to go with our hearts desire, even when that choice is hard or unusual, or seems less likely to succeed. I think that as life goes on it becomes harder, to not make the safe choice, rather than the one you really want, - it is important to start now.

God is the one who creates desires in our hearts, I would sit down and feel/think; -What is it, when all else boils away, that I am left wanting the most?

Steve on April 12, 2003 05:10 PM

I think it's art, but I'm just not sure. I really need God to just smack me and say, "THIS is what you need to do." I dunno.

Drina on April 12, 2003 11:12 PM