My Christmas list

November 15, 2004 | 08:57 PM

Okay, I know it wasn't that long ago that I ranted about my own materialism and the need to free myself from the cult of Buy This Or Die, but being the hopeless American I am, there are a few things that I sometimes wish were mine. And since the holidays are around the corner, I figured I'd give my family and friends some gift ideas if they were, you know, wondering. I'm not getting my hopes up, though. Here it is, that glorious list of greed:

CDs:

The O’Franken Factor Factor by Al Franken, $14.99
Mind, Body & Soul by Joss Stone, $13.49
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb by U2, $10.99
The Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot, $13.49

Books:

America, The Book by Jon Stewart, $14.97
Lucian Freud by William Feaver, $31.47
Reallivepreacher.com by Gordon Atkinson, $10.50
I'm Just Here For the Food by Alton Brown, $20.47
Don't Think of an Elephant by Lakoff & Hazen, $7.50

DVDs:

Farenheight 9/11 by Michael Moore, $18.82
The Royal Tenenbaums, $14.99

Stuff I will never get:

Dimension 4700 Desktop by Dell, $649.00
Venetian H-Frame Easel, $99.00
Galvanized New Englander Cage by Martin's Cages, $150 -or-
Galvanized Condo with Barn Top by Martin's Cages, $170

Other:

Sell Out Face Case by Urban Decay, $34.00
Shadow Box Holiday by Urban Decay, $34.00
Swell Happiness Queen Sheet Set at Target, $44.99
Swell Happiness Duvet Set at Target, $89.99
Ceramic measuring cups by Nigella Lawson, $24.95

Donations:

Amnesty International - Restoring human rights
Aids Task Force - Responding compassionately to AIDS
The City Mission - Meeting physical and spiritual needs
National Public Radio - Expanding minds with real news

So there you have it. This is a list of the things I want (and will probably never have, because I'm too poor/cheap to buy them for myself, and nobody else ever buys anything from my fantasy lists). Perhaps, if I ever win the Ohio lottery, I'll get the O'Franken Factor Factor (and the Dell Desktop, who am I kidding) and give the rest to Amnesty International. They could probably use the funds more than I can the Joss Stone CD

Comments:

On My Christmas list